Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Weigh in, P90X, and a birthday shout out!

Hello blog readers. Well it is weigh in day and everyone is anxiously on the edge of their chair wondering if I lost any weight! Right?!?! Okay I realize you guys don't care that much, I am not that conceded. But with that said, Wednesday's are when I get most of you to read my blog. So maybe I should milk this for everything I can. HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...............

Nah, that is boring. So this morning I weighed myself and I am at a whopping 175.2 lbs. So I lost a little more than half a pound.  Not horrible and not great either.  But I have NO ONE to blame but myself.  You guys I didn't eat that great this last week and weekend. And I missed a bunch of workouts. I can't blame that on anyone but myself.  But this is where the whole I am human and I am Jessica comes into play. I am not going to turn into a health nut over night, it just doesn't happen like that.  I want this to be a life long change and to be honest if I tried to do it over night then it just wouldn't happen, PERIOD. So I will take my .6 of a pound and be glad I didn't gain any weight. While being snowed in, I will be honest and say I didn't eat like I should have.  I didn't eat horrible, but my biggest problem was that I didn't eat my little healthy snacks during the day like I do when I am at work. I like routine, especially when it comes to eating and exercising.  You take me out of that routine and I seem to fall apart. Now if I can plan ahead of time, like if I know I am going out on Saturday night then I can plan ahead and make sure I don't eat like crap all day and then eat something supper fatty for dinner. And I can make sure I do P90X when R is taking a nap.  But this stupid snow just threw everything for a loop and I couldn't keep up. Or to be honest with you and myself, I wanted to sit by the fire and be lazy! Not the snow's fault. I just lost my motivation for a while, but I am back.  THANK YOU BLOG FOR FORCING ME TO GET MY BUTT BACK ON THE WAGON!!

So I told you that I would tell you what P90X is like. Well lets put it this way, it sucks and is great all at the same time.  I also the love the more you do the discs the more you can push yourself. And Tony is a good motivator. He can be annoying and I have cursed at him from time to time (okay EVERY disc), but it seems like he knows exactly when to say, "make sure you keep your legs straight!" or "Keep your elbows close to your body, if you can't do it now fight over time to keep it close."  That is the GREAT thing about Tony, he knows that most of us can't do this stuff. Or at least we can't at the beginning.  Over time you can do the things he is doing and that is the beautiful thing about it.  You truly see yourself changing each week.  The first week or so you are just trying to get through the discs. You probably won't be able to do all the push ups that they are doing or near as many pull ups that they do, but seriously look at the people on the disc.  Do they look like you?? NO!!! LOL, well I know I don't look like those people.
Do you look like this?? Well I know this is Tony and he is guy so the obvious answer is no, but just look at those muscles.  I have approximately 1/25 of the muscle he has, maybe less. So with that said, I am not going to be able to do all the sets that he does, but over time I will. That is what you have to remember at the beginning of those discs. The people in the video are sweating like crazy and if they are working hard then you know that you will be working hard too. And over time you will be able to do more push ups and more pull ups, but the key is to TRY. We have to do military push ups in week 5 and let me tell you they are HARD and I can't even do one full push-up, but each time I try and each time I get a little lower. That is progress. By the end of P90X I am sure I will be able to do at least one full military push-up and do you know how awesome that will be?? And let me remind you that I am not an upper body girl, all my strength is my legs.  So the fact that I even am excited about doing a military push up is AWESOME. So if this chunky girl can get her chunky butt off the couch and do P90X then ANYONE can.  If you want further proof then go to beachbody's website and look at some of the people doing their programs.  And remember cursing at Tony helps!! :) But over time you will be come to appreciate him and then hate him again. Oh let me add that I am NOT a beachbody consultant, but if you want a # for one, I know a great lady that will help you.

Goal this week: To get my butt back on schedule.  I am finally feeling better and have the energy that I have been lacking the last few days! UGGGGG I HATE BEING SICK! I tried doing P90X last night and I only got 3/4 through the work out and I felt like a failure. Plus that is the one I NEED to do.  It was the shoulder and Triceps workout. After looking back at last night I don't feel so bad, at least I got up and did part of that workout.  I wasn't feeling good and I still did part of P90X. Not bad, but I am hoping tonight goes MUCH better. I also need to get on a treadmill again.  My first race is quickly approaching and I need run 2 miles outside before I run that stinking race. SO MUCH TO DO and such little time! By the way, my goal for that race is not to win, but to complete the darn thing.  Did I mention that I have NEVER ran a 5K race. So I just want to get my feet wet in this whole racing business and see how the heck I do. Who knows, it may be for the birds and I may say adios racing. I am hoping it isn't the case, but I will never know until I run a race.

See you all on Friday. I hope the rest of the week goes well for everyone and we have NO MORE snow. Our roads (country roads near my house) can't take anymore of this white stuff.

I am going to leave you with a picture of my hubby, R, and My DAD! It is his birthday tomorrow and this girl couldn't ask for a better dad. I LOVE YOU DAD!!

This is at the Little Sahara (sand dunes) in Oklahoma in our Rhino. I love this picture. Thank you Kayla Kvacik for taking it!! My 3 favorite guys!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!

Monday, February 25, 2013

Snowed in, bachelorette party, and being sick!!

Starting Wednesday night people in KS started to prepare for a snow storm and boy did we get snow! So Wednesday night my husband started a fire in our fire place all motivation to work out went out the window!! So come Thursday morning we woke up to our lovely winter wonderland. Hubby was busy clearing out the snow to see if we cold make it to work that day and I stayed in inside trying to keep R happy while he thought dad was outside having fun! Evidentially we decided to stay home since it was already bad, but the snow wasn't stopping. So we had our first snow day. And then on Friday it was worse and we knew our non-four wheeled vehicles would Not make it. So at this point we had 2 days of being snowed in. Good news is that I worked out on Thursday night, bad news is that I didn't work out on Friday night. But on Saturday we did work out during R's nap. And then I headed to Hays Ks for my cousin's bachelorette party which by then the roads in our neck of the woods had finally been plowed. I ate good all day until it was time for dinner and then I indulged, but split my meal so it wasn't that bad. But soon after that I indulged in A LOT of beer. Not so good! But I knew I didn't have to drive home and I knew I had a DD. I also worked off a few of those calories by dancing. Yes I can dance but believe me when I say it isn't pretty. It looks a lot like Elaine off of Seinfeld. LOL. Needless to say I was hurting a little bit come Sunday morning. Ugggggg! I think I literally said that the next morning. I got back to Salina around lunch time and then put R down for a nap. Then I put myself down for a nap. At this point I ate a banana and that is it!! I was feeling much better after I woke up but by supper time came I started feeling yucky again. So I did not work out that night and I went to bed early. The next morning (Monday) I woke up feeling yucky again. Yep, I have the flu or some kind of stomach bug! So this hasn't been the best Monday!! And of course it started to snow again. So I stayed home yet again and the others barely made it to town. My point to all this rambling is, my schedule had gone to hell!! Was anyone able to stay on schedule these last few days?? I am hoping to make it to work tomorrow and to start working out again. My life feels like a freaking mess. I like when I am on a routine. Crazy. So I'm sorry for not posting anything these last few days but like I said things have been off.

Another question I have for you is, do you still count your calories when you are sick? Or when you let yourself have a cheat day?? I am just curious. I know today I was really under my limit because I didn't want to eat anything!! We will see what the scale says on Wednesday but my prediction is that it will be bad!!! Oh well I am not going to give up. I know P90x will suck but I pretty much miss it and I know I need to jump back on the horse. Plus I haven't purchased a wedding outfit so I am hoping to lose a little bit more weight before I have to do that, which means p90x and I will have to hit hard these next couple of weeks. I am ready for it though. My next post will be a little more positive. I also might go into more depth on my P90x journey just so people have a good idea of what it is and how horrible I looked at the beginning!

Have a good night and let's hope for a break in between our next snow!!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

See that little box over there.  It says I lost a pound, but to be exact I lost 1.2 lbs.  That is progress folks! 

I also ran a mile last night in 10 minutes and 31 seconds.  WHOA!!! And my shins seems to be doing pretty good.  They were a little sore afterwards, but not bad.  I was pretty happy with them!! I still think they are the weak part of my running so I need to find a stretch that works best for me.  I tried a couple last night, but I don't think they are stretching the area that is bothering me. But other than that I was pretty darn happy with myself last night.  Then we did another new disc called Biceps and Back for P90X.  Folks I have to say that I am really starting to dig the whole lifting weights aspect of P90X. Yep, the girl who HATED weights is actually starting to enjoy it. Last night's workout was HARD, but fun all at the same time. I am sore today and my muscles are tired, but this is all a good thing.  It means that 5 weeks into this program you are still using new muscles or you are simply pushing yourself. I think it is both.  At different points last night I found myself getting heavier weights. I NEVER thought I would say that. You guys I seriously hated using any kind of weights when it came to my arms, they were so weak and that frustrated me.  I have ALWAYS loved working out my legs because it was easier for me and I could push them harder. I always had a hard time pushing myself to lift what was difficult when it came to my arms. I literally just hated it all! But like I said before; last night was fun. I felt like I achieved something.  It was just an amazing feeling.  But then of course Ab ripperX came on immediately afterwards and that feeling disengrated QUICKLY! Oh ab ripperX you have a way of making all the good things I feel about myself go out the window! I tell you guys, the ab stuff on P90X is no joke and it is getting better, but it seems like it is impossible to be good at that section.  I hope by the end of this journey I have a different outlook on that section.

I also made spaghetti with whole wheat noddles and that was pretty good.  I need to get better at taking pics of my meals, but at supper time this girl is hungry and all I think about is  STUFFING MY FACE!!! I use myfitnesspal app to record all my calories and I just discovered the recipe tab on it and it has been really handy! I will be using that from now on. I have been adding up the calories and dividing it in my head or coming up with an approximate amount of calories in each servings, but the app does all of this for you.  I am impressed with it. Is there any kind of technology that you like to help you work out or eat healthy?? I know some people use mapmyrun app, I think that is what it is called.  Once I start running outside I am going to give it a try. I have also seen people wear a garmin watch and that keeps track of your distance. I don't know much about them, but I have seen them on blogs and instagram photos. What helps you??

Here is a side note or a little advice for people who work out with friends/significant others.  It is incredibly hard to workout when your workout partner rips a HUGE fart.  Luckily it wasn't stinky! But it was during a quiet moment and we were squating over and lifting weights and all of a sudden...............................................BIG OLE FART!!! LOL it was so funny. So this is when working out with people can be a disadvantage, but at the same time it made for a really funny moment. It is still making me laugh now. I hope it makes you laugh too!

I thought I would leave you with my schedule for upcoming races:
March 30th - Salina, KS (Fools night run)
April 13th - Manhattan, KS (March of Dimes run)
May 5th - Wichita, KS (Color me Rad)
May 11th - Hays, KS (Race for a cure - Susan G. Komen.)
May 27th - Manhattan, KS (for a friend's nephew that passed away a few years ago)

Now I don't have the specifics on all of these yet.  I have had some awesome friends ask me to be on their team (because they were being nice and were taking pitty on me I am sure), but I haven't gotten that far yet.  I probably need to get on top of that. I promise I will get busy in making decisions because I know deadlines are quickly approaching. I am a procrastinator at heart!! SORRY!!! But if you are interested in any of these and would like to run with me let me know.  Or pick one and start working towards the goal.  All of these are 5k's. Unless for some reason down the road I think I am a Bad A*% and want to attempt a 10k. But lets not get ahead of ourselves here.  I need to get through my first 5k before I even think about a 10k. 

You guys have a good week.  If you are in KS please be careful the next couple of days.  We are suppose to get some serious snow. Another nice thing about P90X, if we get snowed in, I will still be able to workout :)

Monday, February 18, 2013

Monday, AGAIN!!

So this is basically how I feel about today!
I hope I look this cute when I am miserable!! LOL sorry I thought this was cute and basically I don't want it to be Monday either!
How was every one's weekend?? Mine seemed to just disappear. Those 2 days seem to go by too fast.  But I am doing better about eating on the weekends.  So that is a plus, I really think the whole eating healthy is getting better and easier.  I went out to eat on Saturday and I ate from the healthy menu and it was delicious.  I got a pork chop and some broccoli.
Sorry for the blurry pic. But look at that broccoli!! It was huge. If R was eating that he would try to eat it all in one bite. TRUE STORY! You should see that kid eat broccoli. 
You will also notice my beverage in that pic.  Yep that is right I had some beer that night. I am going to still enjoy life and to completely get rid of alcohol isn't going to happen.  I enjoy beer and wine too much to say adios forever.  Just like everything else there needs to be moderation.  Seriously before I would drink at least a beer every night or I would have a glass of wine every night.  Maybe not every night, but more it was more than 2 nights a week.  Now it is basically one night a week. My body appreciates this change too. 
What else did I do this weekend, well if you follow me on Facebook, which all of you or most of you do then you saw that I did my work out before I went out with the girls.  That was nice because I didn't feel guilty about missing a night of P90X and I could enjoy my night! Then on Sunday we started a new week of P90X, week 5 baby!!! We had a new disc called Chest, Shoulders, and Triceps.  And let me tell you, it SUCKED. Oh man, did I feel the burn last night and I still feel it today.  There were a lot of push-ups done last night and a lot more failed push-ups.  Oh boy did it kick my butt.  Once again, no one said it would be easy, but seriously push-ups are my arch nemesis.
This is how I look doing a push by the way!! Just joking that is how I would like to look doing a push-up.
This is probably more accurate!! This is basically what I looked like last night.  No kidding!
I really hope by the end of P90X I have a new appreciation for those because if not there will be a lot more swear words coming out of my mouth for the next 8 weeks. Another reason for us to work out AFTER R is asleep!
I am going to leave you with something that Megan from skinnymeg says, "you can't out train a bad diet."  Which means you have to eat healthy and work out to attain your weight goal. Doesn't it seem like a waste of time to work out so hard and then turn out and consume a bunch of bad calories. I get what she is saying, but it isn't easy. I am doing my best to achieve a healthy diet and I am hoping this is something that will be a norm for me. That when P90X is done or once I achieve my final goal that I won't go back to eating unhealthy.  I really want this to be a lifestyle change. As for eating small meals, I am still working on that.  This may take me a while to master, but I NEED to keep working on it. It is hard to change something you have been doing all your life.  But I know it can be done.
Well I hope you all have a good week. Wednesday I will post my weight again. If it is the same as last week, I might just stop posting my weight and start doing measurements around my waist, arms, and legs. Maybe I will feel better about that!!

Friday, February 15, 2013

We have made it another week.

Well it is Friday, YAY!! And with that said I have one more day of week 4 of P90x! I will take Saturday off and then Sunday we will begin Week 5 of P90X!! That is just crazy town if you ask me. I can't believe we are on WEEK 5!!I NEVER thought we would make it to week 5!  I am also excited because this week we had another disc to our weekly routine so we get to shake it up a little. This week has been completely different, more yoga, cardio, and a disc that concentrates on our core only for 58 minutes.  It has been an interesting week.

On Facebook I posted a link to a blog that I love
 Meg is AWESOME and has been a huge inspiration to me, plus she has some good before and after photos which you all know that I love.  But yesterday she had a guest writer, Kelly from The Turquoise Piano and she mentioned eating healthy and how many calories you should consume.  I have been wondering for a while now if I have been consuming too little calories and so I wrote Kelly on Facebook. And within a few minutes she wrote me back. And I was right, I am about 200 calories short.  She also mentioned eating more small meals, which I knew she would say. It is hard for me to eat 5 meals a day, Ain't no body got time for that.
If you guys haven't seen this clip on YouTube then you need to get on it.  This stuff is hilarious!!
But back to eating 5-6 meals a day.  This will be a challenge for me, but I know I can do it.  I have been reading the same stuff OVER and OVER again, so I know it is something that must be done. I am hoping this weekend I can start working on a schedule.
I think the biggest accomplishment of that day was the fact that I reached out for help.  And the best part of the whole is experience is that Kelly wrote me back.  I get a little star struck over these bloggers because they get tons of e-mails EVERY DAY from readers and I hate to bother them with my problems because I know everyone is wanting their help. But at the same time I thought "what could it hurt?" And the reason I reached out to Kelly is because this use to be her job.  In her post she mentioned that she use to help people with this problem before she had her child. So I knew that I could go to her and not get a generic answer of "well, this is what I do." Each person is a little different and she knows this. She also wants to hear back from me once a week. So not only did she respond back to me, but she wants to keep hearing from me.  Man, I don't think she knows what she is in for.  So how knows maybe we will become BBFF (blogger best friends forever). That would be the tops (aka that would be awesome). I am trying my hardest to add healthy things/people to my life and I think having her in my corner cheering me on will be a positive thing. 
Also on a positive note, I have a new running buddy!! We are going to start running on Monday although at different gyms and report back to one another how we did. I am going to help her and she is going to help me. Then we are going to run a 5K that weekend of mother's day in Hays, KS. Kelsey Torrez (soon to be Kelly), what are you doing that weekend?? You should run with us!! Either way, that is another positive person I am adding to my list. I am loving it. Plus I am going to try to get a group of gals to cook with me some night and make some healthy dishes.  I think this will be really fun. It is a good way to try new things and spend time with friends. I am excited about this!!
Okay enough about me. WHAT DID YOU DO/GET FOR VALENTINE'S DAY?? I think this year must have been a good one for most people because I saw a billion of valentine photos on FB! What did I get this year, well let me see.  There was this

My hubby surprised me with this in my car! He can be sweet at times. And yes that is a pickle card! I should have taken a picture of the inside of it.  The card originally says "I bet you didn't expect to get a pickle for your birthday."  But Jed scratches out "your birthday" and wrote "Valentine's day".  So now it reads "I bet you didn't expect to get a pickle for Valentine's Day." But I do expect a pickle for ANY and ALL holidays.  Seriously my husband has these cards hoarded in his desk at work. So when ever there is a holiday he just pulls one out and gives it to me. Although this year he took it a step further and got me a balloon and put it in my car as a surprise.  I loved it. And so did my son!

What can I say, the kid loves balloons!! He had fun with it and that made me happy!
FYI - This is a used gift.  But hey that is okay!! I needed a new radio for my car and now I got this fancy thing that I am sure I won't know how to operate. Regardless I am excited!!!
Over all it was a REALLY good Valentine's day.  I hope yours was too.  I had 3 Hersey kisses and a stupid big brownie that R made at daycare. IT WAS GOOD, HE DID A GOOD JOB! I really wanted a glass of wine, but I thought the stupid big brownie put me over the top so I didn't have my glass of wine, but that is okay. We also did a P90X workout and so I didn't feel too horrible about the big stupid brownie, but the I knew what my calorie count would be if I added the glass of wine and I would fret about it afterwards, so it wasn't worth it!  But that was it and now today it is back to clean/healthy eating.  And even though I am adding 200 calories to my day, that doesn't mean eating a candy bar and calling it good.  Food has become fuel for my body and that is how I look at things now. So a candy bar would be like adding crappy old nasty fuel to your car.  It will still run (hopefully), but it will probably act funny. Well the same goes with my body.  I can eat that candy bar and I will still operate, but to be honest I am going to feel yucky later on. So why bother?? Stupid big brownie (good and yummy), but not the right fuel for my body.  Good to do every once in a while, yes; everyday, NO!!!
Well that is enough rambling for one day. I hope you all have a GREAT weekend. and don't forget to look up "sweet brown" on YouTube if you haven't seen that video yet, it is hilarious.  It is a good way to wrap up the week.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013


Well today is Wednesday and you know what that means?? Yep, it is Ash Wednesday! What did you think I was going to say?? Okay I am joking, I know what Wednesday means to me and the rest of the poor people who read this blog. So today I weigh a whopping.................................................................................................................................................................................................................
177lbs. Yep, I gained a pound. And Guess what? I DON'T CARE!! I am eating healthy and I am exercising. So the stupid scale can kiss my furry brownish butt.  Okay, it really isn't furry, but I got you thinking, didn't I?? Sorry I am feeling a little rambunctious today. Man you guys are in for it today.  What will this crazy blogger talk about today?

Well let's start with the fact that I don't care what my scale says today and yesterday I about threw it out a window. I think that is a huge transformation for 24 hours. Let me tell you what I learned in 24 hours:

1.) scales stink
2.) scales are the devil
3.) scales are worse than walkers on The Walking Dead
4.) my scale puts me in a bad mood
5.) my pants still feel big on me
6.) I think my double chin is fading away YAY!!
7.) Shin Splints HURT!
9.) I am being too hard on myself.

The biggest one is #8 & 9. I am not a body builder or a person who has been shape all their life.  So what made me think that I could do all this stuff and not have ANY reprocusions from it?? I am not SUPERWOMAN. I think I forget this.  I am not perfect either.  No matter how I word it, I need to realize that I am a work in progress and I can't just put on running shoes and expect to run a half a marathon. Sometimes I have unrealistic goals for myself. Or at least don't give myself the right time frame to get my goals done. So then I get disappointed in myself and I shut down.  That is where I was yesterday.  But then as I started to look at it, I have so much to be proud of.  I am doing P90X!!! HOLY COWS!! I Never thought I would be saying that.  I didn't think I could do it, but I am.  I am eating the healthiest that I have ever ate and I like it! CRAZY! So really I am doing pretty darn awesome. Oh and scales are the devil! So really what was my problem yesterday?? My problem is that I am human.  Even though I have awesome days and a good attitude MOST of the time, I am going to have bad days and I am going to have days where I want to quit. But I need to keep going. , "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim." as Dory says on Finding Nemo. 

People, I have a 2 year old, where do you think I am going to get my quotes from?!?! Plus, I haven't really watched a movie in forever. So you can expect lame quotes from me!!

On another positive note, my shins are starting to feel better. I didn't run last night and took it easy during P90X.  Tonight we are scheduled to do a StretchX and I hoping that will help my recovery too. I read in several articles that you should only increase your running distance by 10%, well I was increasing mine by 100%. I ran 1 mile and then the next time I ran it was 2 miles. So that might have been STUPID! Don't do that people! Next time I run I will be taking it easy.  It isn't worth the pain.

So where does this leave me on my weight loss? Well I was informed by a VERY smart person that my weight should start to come off in month 3 of P90X.  SOOOO I have a ways to go. But that is okay.  I am enjoying P90X and I will slowly add running to my routine. I am okay with that.  I will keep eating like I have been and by month 3 I will look like this:

Okay I am joking.  I will look better than that, duh.  It is P90X folks. I have seen those commercials, I am going to look HOTT! Okay, I am joking. I told you I was feeling rambunctious today.  I don't really have huge expectation of what I will look like. I just want to feel better and maybe one day think about putting on a swim suite again.  If I look like this gal in the picture then I will consider myself lucky and will probably be the next spokes model for P90X!! Once again, probably not going to happen.  But a gal can dream!!

What is there to look forward to now.  I mean seriously, you just read my weigh in post! The rest of the week will probably be blah for ya.  Sorry folks, what is a girl to do? Just JOKING!! Your week probably just got worse from reading this, but hey I didn't force you to read this thing!! But seriously I hope you guys/gals have a good week. And Thanks for yesterday, you guys/gals really know how to pick up a girl when she is down. I love the people who read this blog and I LOVE all your advice and help. I really couldn't keep this up without you. THANK YOU!! And remember to "Just keep swimming!"

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Beware: This blogger is grumpy!!

So today, I am feeling more like this:

Why, you ask. Well I just do!!! No one said that weight loss would be easy and I knew it wouldn't be.  But I am stinking frustrated.  There is it. I'm grumpy, mad, and frustrated at this stupid process. I weighed myself this morning (and Yes i know it isn't Wednesday, but I had to. And to be honest with you all, I do weigh myself other than just on Wednesday, but i don't feel like posting it all the time) and I was up 2 pounds. And YES I know that muscle weighs more than fat. YAY good for the people who look like body builders, but I'm not a body builder.  I am a chunky girl trying to loss some freaking weight. UGGGGGG!! And then on top of that I pretty sure I have 2 shin splints. I have NEVER had shin splints before. So now what do I do?  Do I stop running? Is there a stretch I can do to get rid of it? SERIOUSLY WHAT DO I DO NOW!! You guys wanted honesty and here it is. I'm tired.  I am tired of not seeing the results I WANT to see. Why isn't that darn scale going down? I am eating WAY better than I did when I first started this blog and I'm exercising like a fool. So seriously, what is it?? LUCY QUIT TAKING MY FOOTBALL. I JUST WANT TO FREAKING KICK IT!!! I completely know how Charlie Brown feels now. You keep trying because you think, "This is it, I'm going it get it this time and then someone or something just yanks it from underneath you!!!" I am not trying to get sympathy from you all.  I just want you to know how frustrating this is. I know that my pants are getting bigger and my clothes are fitting better and that this is all great, but maybe that is just my head playing games with me. If that stupid scale would just go down then I would know FOR sure that this is working. I NEED to see that number go down. I should have thrown my temper tantrum this morning and maybe I would have felt better.  But I didn't because I thought, well tomorrow will be a better day.  But the more I think about it, the more grumpy I get.

Well there it is folks. I really have nothing to say.  Other than this, normally when I get mad like this I would run to the nearest store and buy a candy bar or something REALLY unhealthy.  For once in my life, that doesn't sound good. I still want to eat healthy and I still want to exercise.  And maybe that is a reason I am grumpy too.  I don't know if I can physically exercise right now. The whole shin splint has me confused.  Do you run through it? No pain, no glory. Right?!? Stupid shin splints. Why now?? Please don't pity me or feel sorry for me.  I really don't want it.  I just want everyone to know that this isn't all sweat and smiles. It is hard to stay positive all the time when you don't see the scale go down or when you are confused. So there it is folks, my temper tantrum in word form. 

What do you do when you are down or frustrated? What do you do for shin splints?

Okay, now that I wrote this I do feel a little better.  So I won't feel like this any more:
Okay that was taking during the K-state/KU game and we (K-State) was losing.  It was making me sad. But to be honest, that is how I felt this morning too. So I think it is fitting.
I apologize for not being a super happy blogger today. I just can't do it every day.  I have bad days and today is a bad day. I know I will get it over it. I just need to keep going. I will get there folks, believe me I am pretty darn determined to get there.  But man, it would be so much better if I could kick that darn football (metaphor for seeing the scale go down). Charlie Brown, you keep kicking and I will keep on keeping on too!!
Enjoy your Tuesday everyone! 

Monday, February 11, 2013

The Walking Dead and other random thoughts.

It is Monday, UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. Let's just say I am not as chipper as I was last week. I really have no excuse either.  Well maybe I could use this as an excuse.

Oh man, how did my picture get up there?? LOL Just joking.  The Walking Dead started back up on AMC and I LOVE that show. But I was a good girl, I still worked out with my 2 work out buddies and recorded the show.  But that meant we didn't start watching it until 11:00 that night. Yes people that means I didn't work out until 9:45ish. My child, did NOT want to go to sleep last night. I was about to my breaking point, but finally my wonderful husband was able to get him to sleep.  Thank goodness.  But regardless it put us about an hour behind. But I mean this is The Walking Dead, I couldn't pass it up. So I was dumb and watched it after we did P90X and today I am feeling it.

Someone last week asked "how do you find time to workout; don't you feel like you should be doing something else?" And the answer to the second half of that question is YES.  As a mother there is always something I should be doing. Other moms out there know this is true. There is always a load of laundry that needs to be done or a bathroom that could use a good scrub.  But I finally had to tell myself that my health is more important.  This person wasn't giving me a hard time, she just wanted to know HOW I did it.  Once again let me tell you that making this decision isn't easy. My house really isn't clean.  I mean it isn't horrible, but it isn't as clean as I would like it.  At times (like this morning) it was really bugging me that it wasn't as clean as I would like it. But I know the time I am using to get fit is important.  I have had to make some adjustments though. P90X takes at least an hour a day, but it can take as much as 1 1/2 hours. That is very valuable time folks. The time I use to work out is the time that I use to clean.  So how do I keep up?  I still do one load of laundry a day. But I start a load in the morning and then when I get home from work I throw it in the dryer.  And at some point (usually before I go to bed) I put it away. This saves me A LOT of time during the weekend playing catch up on laundry. Another trick I have is to clean while cooking. That means unloading the dish washer, cleaning the counters, or sweeping. Any little bit help, keep your butt off the couch while you are waiting for that water to boil or chicken nuggets to come out of the oven (and I said oven, stop using your fryer for things like that! They are just as good out of the oven). I don't usually sit down until it is time to eat.  Once dinner is over, I spend ALL my time with R. He needs this time and I need this time. I am lucky to have a husband that will watch R while I cook, but there are times when I ask them to spend their time with me in the kitchen so I can hang out with them while they play. These are just a few things I do so I can get through the week. Then on the weekend I play catch up with cleaning the rest of the house. It can be exhausting, but hey I am burning calories as I clean too :)

So when do I have time to run? Well, I am lucky to have a job that will be a little flexible.  My secret is that I don't take a lunch break.  This is helpful in 2 ways.  One I bring my lunch 90% of the time and that keeps me away from fast food. Secondly, I get to leave at 4:00.  So that is when I run. R is still at daycare and I get my butt to the gym and get my running done. Last friday I ran 2 miles by the way, YIPEEEEE for me.  And what time did I get to the gym?? I am pretty sure it was close to 8:15 PM. Yep, I dropped R off with my parents and head to the gym to get my run in. I really didn't want to.  I really wanted to go home and put my PJ's on and relax.  I had no kid or husband in the house and that meant I could watch whatever I WANTED.  But instead I went to the gym and ran.

Yeah I might have been the only one there for a little bit.  But by the time I got to mile 1 the gym was filling up.
Then I came home and took a shower and watched What Not To Wear.  I recorded it and I haven't had time to watch it, so I chilled for a little bit and watched it. That is another thing; you need to re-evaluate your relationship with your TV.  This is hard, but I don't spend that much time with my TV anymore. I simply don't have time.  Teen Mom, I have zero idea what is going on in that show. I even record it and I don't have time to watch it.  So what do I watch now?  Well I can't give up, Grey's Anatomy, What Not to Wear, and The Walking Dead. The bad thing about those shows are that they are an hour long!! But since I record them I can burn through them in about 45 minutes or so.  The point here is that you have to make time to work out, it isn't going to be easy, but it needs to happen. Did I work out on Saturday, NOPE!! But that is a choice I made.  My leggs were tired and I needed a rest. So I took Satruday off.  Was I regretting in on Sunday?  NO, well not until we started P90X and at that point I felt weak, out of shape or something.  I think taking 2 days off of P90x is NOT recommended. There is a schedule for it and we should probably stick to it.
Once again this is just how I do things.  If you can work out, play with your child, watch 3 hours of TV, and still have a clean house then that is AWESOME.  I just can't do it. There aren't enough hours in the day. But if you are watching 3 hours of TV a night and say "I don't have time to work out," then you are making excuses like I use to do. Really what you should be saying is "I would rather watch Teen Mom than work out."  And guess what, that is fine, but don't say you don't have time to work out. Also, if you can work out before work like my mother does then I have to give you an award.  For the love of pete I am lucky to get to work on time let alone workout before going to work. But I know for some people that is the only way to get it done. Do what works for you!!!!
Who watched the Walking Dead last night?? I DID!!! IT was awesome.  That show is another reason to keep working out too.  Do you really want to be the first one to be bit by a zombie or slow down your group?  I sure don't. Now you have something to think about until Wednesday when I have my weekly weigh in.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

The unexpected

Yesterday I was pondering if I was making a fool out of myself by blogging. It is one thing to make a fool out of myself in my house for my family to see, but it is another thing to put it out there and have all my friends and family see it. I thought maybe people thought my blog was silly.  I know it has been good for me and that is the reason  I started it, but I hate to annoy people with it.  So as the day went on, I let this thought leave my mind. But as noon came I got a text from a close friend asking me a couple of questions regarding my blog and my new exercise schedule. So I told her what worked for me and that I am glad that she is running as well. Then I had another friend tell me that she wants to start getting active again and would like to work up the strength to run again.  At this point I am thinking, "Way to go girls!! I am so proud of you!"  I LOVE hearing that people want to start exercising again because I know the feeling you get once you decide to start! It is a big moment! Or at least it was for me.  At the mall I ran into a old co-worker/friend and she told me that she has been reading my blog and that it has been nagging at her to start working out again. And right before we parted she told me to keep going because I had fans!! WHAT?!?!?! I have fans!! Within minutes of that comment I got a text from my first friend and she told me she had just did her workout for the day.  She proceeded to tell me that my blog has inspired her and for me to keep blogging. I wish someone had taken a picture of me at that moment because tears came to my eyes and I stopped in my tracks. I INSPIRE PEOPLE!! This is a whole new concept to me. YOU GUYS INSPIRE ME! That is why I started this blog, I was selfish and I needed more motivation. So for it to turn around and inspire other people is just CRAZY! You people are killing me kindness! Thank you for the nice words and encouraging me to continue blogging.  You never know how this is going to go once you hit that publish button. For as hard as it is to put myself out there, I knew that I had to do this. WHY?!?! Because I needed to stop hiding.  The more I hid the more I gained.  I didn't want to confront my weight gain, I wanted to use excuses.  I had a baby, there had to be something wrong with my metabolism, I have no time, etc. I had a million excuses.  Then came the blog, NO MORE EXCUSES!! I am just like ALL the other people out there trying to lose weight. So what if a have a crazy, but adorable 2 year old.  There are people with 4 children that have time to work out. I am pretty sure I have no problem with my metabolism, I have just been too lazy and unmotivated to keep up any work out schedule.

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE INSPIRATION!  If I inspire one person from this blog then that is such an added bonus. Also, I want to say that starting a work out program is not easy.  People get down on themselves for not working out.  My advice is to find something that you think you will like or a challenge for yourself. If you don't have people to work out with then go join a gym and get into a class.  THEY DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE OUT OF SHAPE AND CAN'T KEEP UP WITH THEM!! I promise you, they are just happy you are there. Do you know why they are happy to see you? Because they were you at some point.  99% of people are like you.  There are NOT a lot of people who stayed in shape from the time they were in high school; there are a few people out there who achieved this and they are called freaks of nature!! LOL okay not really, but they were awesome people who didn't let certain life changing events change them. CONGRATS to you people out there who were able to do this.  This is a HUGE achievement! If you are scared of gym then look within your community and find another class. There is one in Salina that has NOTHING to do with a gym, they do turbo kicks (which is like kick boxing), it is a GREAT class. I wish I had time to do that class again, it just doesn't fit into my schedule right now. If you want info on this class please text me, call me, or FB me.  I will gladly pass on the info.

Secondly, find a way to be accountable. Start a blog!! Okay that might not be for everyone, but find something. There are groups on FB and at gyms that can help. If you need me to text you once a day, I will do that! We can help each other be accountable.  I also use myfitnesspal app, which helps me keep track of my calories and what I eat every day, so if you need to join me on that please feel free to add me as a friend!! The more people I have surrounding me with the same goal, the better chance I have to succeed and the better chance I can help you achieve your goals! We can help each other out. I know WE can do this!! I am on instagram and I have become a little obsessed with it (sorry people!!), but I am going to try to do better with taking pics of healthy meals that I make. So feel free to join me on there.

You guys/gals, I am not an expert, I am JUST like you.  I am trying to lose the weight the best way I know how. I don't want to take any pills or weight loss drug.  I am doing my best to do this the old fashion way with healthy eating and exercise! Oh yeah and blogging!! :) That is why I ask for suggestions or recipes.  I AM NEW TO THIS!! But I have this great tool called the Internet.  Have you heard of it?? Oh you must have because you are reading this blog! LOL (I swear that is the last LOL you will see today!)But it has been a great tool.  But I love to hear what my close friends and family have done or are doing to lose weight.  So please don't feel like you are bugging me if you send me a new recipe that you like or an exercise that you like doing. I also want to hear any new achievements or goals that you met! I get inspiration from your achievements. It pushes me harder! I need to be pushed!! Not physically, but you know what I mean. And if you need a push, let me know and I will do my best to push you (figuratively).

Well once again you have wasted a perfectly good 10 minutes reading my blog. (I got that from cartalk, they use to be on NPR, a funny talk show.  AWWW I miss them!) Take care everyone. Put down that candy bar and go eat an apple!
I bought those the other day and they sat in my car for over 24 hours without me eating them :) This girl is starting to make some progress. Now they are sitting in my house which might be as dangerous. I NEED to give them away to someone. Chocolate is bad for dogs, right? I am joking, I know it is. Cats?!?!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Well, It is Wednesday and weigh in time!

It is Wednesday and I have to say I was dreading this weigh in AGAIN! Will I ever look forward to Wednesdays? I lost 1/2 a pound everyone.  I was at 176.9 last week and I'm at 176.4.  Do I feel defeated?  Yes and No. Remember in my last post how I explained I had a horrible weekend, well how can I expect a good weigh in when I eat like horse over the weekend?  Had I ate better and excercised a little more, I think I would have met my goal which is a little disappointing. But on the bright side I added Cardio to my work out on Monday and Tuesday and each day I ran a MILE! Before I had R this would not have been an accomplishment.  I could ALWAYS run a mile no matter how out of shape I was, I might have struggled, but I could get it done. After R that changed.  I tried running last year and I got to a quarter of a mile and had to stop, I felt so horrible. I kept at it for a while (probably only 2 weeks) and the furthest I got was 3/4 a mile.  I was so frustrated that I quit (NOT RECOMENDED). So when I got on the treadmill Monday I was trying to tell myself that running a mile may not be achievable yet, but it would be if I kept at it.  And it was a struggle, but I ran a mile without walking. YIPEE!!! People I can't tell you how freaking proud of myself I was.  I felt like the old me!! That night I still did my P90X and that was a struggle, but I got it done. On Tuesday I ran again with the same result, but this time it wasn't a big struggle and I probably could have ran more, but I needed to pick up R so I called it quits at a mile. What is my next step? Pick out a 5K date!!! I know if I get myself enrolled in a 5K then I will push myself harder!

Also I want to add that I know that I'm heading in the right direction because .................................. the dress pants I'm wearing today are TOO BIG!!!!!!!!! Another YIPEE for me! On the sad side, they don't have belt loops so I basically need to say adios to them and buy another pair.  Some may say that isnt' a bad thing, but I LOVE these pants. I hope I can find another pair to replace them :)

Some people may want to know what my benefits have been since starting all of this.  Well they are:

1.) I have a pair of pants that are too big!!
2.) I can run a mile again!
3.) I have more energy
4.) My body is getting firmer
5.) I have more confidence in myself
6.) This may go along with #5, but I can say I am proud of myself for achieving some of my small goals.
7.) Exercising is becoming more enjoyable than work!!!!!

I think those benefits are freaking AWESOME. Some of you may already have those things, but for me I can honestly say this is the best I have felt since having my child. I feel like I'm getting back to Jessica and not just a mom or a wife. It is time consuming, but I'm enjoying it. Before R was born, I use to watch A LOT of TV and my husband would say, "get a hobby." And I would get mad because I had hobbies, but they involved doing things with other people, like softball and volleyball.  Hard to play those sports on your own.  But this I can do solo if I need to. I do want to add that my husband does join me in the majority of my P90X workouts, I think he has only missed one.  He is getting stronger and his pants are getting bigger too :) But he did say that his # on the scale is going up.  I know this is because we are adding muscle and muscle weighs more than fat.  I hoping at some point this muscle with start eating our fat and the scales will start to reflex our efforts. 

So what did I learn this week:
1.) I can run a mile!! (this is the last time I will say that)
2.) Don't go crazy over the weekends, it is hard to work that off!
3.) Don't go crazy looking at the number on the scale
4.) Eating healthy takes a little more time/effort at first, but once you start it gets easier as you go.
5.) Ground Turkey is good.
6.) Drinking beer for 3 nights in a row is BAD (I only had a few each night, but they were not necessary!)

Over all my week had it's ups and downs.  I think it will be like that for a while.  PLEASE DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE PERFECT!! Just because I have a blog doesn't mean that I am perfect. You guys are along for the journey and on this journey there are going to be highs and lows. I will do my BEST to be honest with you and myself! Over the years I have discovered that I like to be PERFECT and I am so far from being perfect.  This use to depress me, but recently I have learned that I can't be perfect, it isn't possible. So why strive for something that isn't possible?  Especially if it only makes me sad and feel bad about myself.  A goal should make you feel good and you should feel good about achieving them. Striving to be perfect isn't a specific goal. I know that I need to be specific about my goals. Which are to lose 30 lbs and to run a 5K. I know I'm on way to achieving both of these goals. I may not be dropping the pounds like I would like to, but I'm building the tools to get there.  The more muscle I have the more pounds I will lose down the road. And I'm a few miles shorts of the 5K, but I know over the next a month or two I will be there! These goals I feel good about!!

Well once again this got pretty lengthy.  I apologize for that. How did you guys do this week?? Did you discover anything new or learn anything new? What are your goals?? It doesn't have to be weight related, I am just curious.  It is February and I know some of you had New Years resolutions, so are you still working towards those? 

With Wednesday being here that means we are about half way through our work week!! YAY!! I hope the rest of the week goes smoothly for you! Take care and if you have any suggestions please feel free to let me know or if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask me.

Monday, February 4, 2013

It is another Monday!

Don't let my title fool ya.  For a Monday I am actually feeling pretty good.  Maybe it was the 8.5 hours of sleep I got last night!! Don't be jealous I had to leave my house looking not so good, but that is okay, this girl needed some sleep.  And I'm so glad that I did because I feel great today.  With that said, I didn't do so hot this weekend.  How did you gals/guys do this weekend?

Friday night my parents came into town and we ate at Tuscon's Steakhouse.  Let me tell you that I was ready to go there and have a VERY healthy salad and call it good.  But once I got there and saw the menu I realized that a Salad really wasn't going to be that good (healthy). So then I started to look for some grilled chicken items and there was only one item on there I was thinking about getting, but about that time the smell of all the unhealthy things took over.  So I decided on a breaded chicken sandwich with french fries!! Yes you read that right, a totally UNHEALTHY meal, but let me add that Jed and I shared that meal. So I only had half a sandwich and half the fries, so I am taking baby steps. After dinner we went to a high school basketball game, but I had to leave during the 3rd Quarter because I had to play volleyball. I went and played 2 games of volleyball, but I was about useless. At 8:55, this girl can not get motivated to play. It was hard, but I made it through the 2 games.

Then on Saturday I had a chicken wrap from Blimpies which isn't too bad. My sister was in town and she need some wedding clothing so we went shopping and had lunch in the mall. SCARY!! There aren't a whole lot of healthy items at the mall and I really didn't feel the need to go EVERY restaurant to figure out whether or not they had healthy items so I just went with the sandwich place. It was good, but the most impressive thing about that meal was my SON.  He ate all of his kid's meal sandwich and sat in one place the whole time!! It was so AWESOME.  That kid never wants to sit in one spot for very long let alone eat his meal. That kid would be happy if he NEVER had to sit down for a meal ever again.  So let me tell you this was a huge achievement! This made me very happy.

For dinner that night we had chili that I made and I only had 3/4 cup of chili and a few Frito's and a light sprinkle of shredded cheese. But then I had to have a cinnamon roll to go with that because I made them for my hubby and sister and I couldnt' resist, they smelled so darn good. But I only had one and they weren't the big ones, but still I felt a little guilty for eating it.  Once R was asleep, Jed and I kept going back and forth on whether or not we should work out and I finally decided that I WANTED to. So we got P90X out and did a work out. My sister wasn't feel so hot after the chili so she decided to not work out, but I can understand that. I was pretty proud of myself for working out while having guests over, and my sister enjoyed some alone time.

On Sunday we went back into town for lunch and we ate Mexican food and I had a small tostada and only a few bites of my beans. (Let me tell you Sunday was my worst day). I think I just had an attitude of NOT CARING! Which is no good when you are trying to lose weight. So then after that I had to go home and get some food ready for a Super Bowl party and I will say that I made one good choice, I made my Queso dip with Lean Ground Turkey meat!! And No, it didn't taste any different than ground beef.  I was glad it tasted good. There was another Queso dip at the party and I was actually glad because Jed got a little of both and I asked him later if he could taste the difference between the two and he said NO.  He didn't know that I had used Turkey meat. So when I told him I put LEAN TURKEY meat in mine he was actually really surprised.  So that might be my new thing, LEAN turkey meat.

So I can't say that I walked away without learning anything from this weekend. You are asking, What did I learn? Well, 1.)Turkey meat tastes like ground beef. 2.)I can eat half a sandwich and be FULL.  Also when you split it from the get go you aren't tempted to keep stuffing your face.  3.)I can find time to workout with guests around. 4.)That I can chalkboard paint a wall in 30 minutes with a toddler running around! Oh did I forget to mention that.  On Sunday before the party I decided to quickly paint my wall with Chalkboard paint. It turned out pretty good. I have to put a second coat on tonight, but I think it will look pretty darn good when I'm done. I will take a picture when I'm done.

Okay I'm done with my novel. Man these can get long.  Sorry!! You guys have a good week.  Remember, if you were bad last night shrug it off, you can't take it back.  All you can do it is learn from it. Maybe today you can do an extra 15 minutes of exercise.  I know I'm going to give that a try.  I am going to run today.  I decided that I do want to run a 5K, so today I hit the treadmill.  But don't think I'm giving up on P90X, I will be hitting that hard tonight too. I might be a little ambitious today, we will see how I feel tomorrow. Wish me luck!! :) Take care!!

Friday, February 1, 2013


It is Friday!! Thank goodness!! Do you have any big plans for the weekend?? I am going to see my parents tonight :) and then My sister is going to be here for most of the weekend :) So what does that mean for working out.  Well tonight I have volleyball so I will take a break from P90X and I'm hoping on Saturday I will make time to workout with or without P90X.  I hope my sister is bringing her work out clothes!! I do have to say that I have done P90X from Sunday thru Thursday.  I am pretty proud of myself, normally by Thursday I'm tired and need a break.  Not this week, I totally rocked Thursday's workout!!

Have you ever asked a former long time smoker "how did you quit?" and their answer is "I finally just said I'm done!" Well I thinking I'm getting to that point with my body.  I'm done being this unhealthy.  I may not lose all the weight that I want do, but I want to be healthier and I want to feel more comfortable in my own skin.  I'm getting more comfortable and confident, but I want MORE!! I think that is the difference this time, I want MORE! We are on week 3 of P90x and I find myself wanting more.  I think I might start some cardio next week.  There is a small part of me that wants to run a 5K and eventually a half marathon.  I might be stupid for doing both at one time, but I really think if I take my 5K training slow, then I can do both and be able to run this spring or early summer. I'm not trying to do it over night, but I think if I pace myself I can get it done. Does anyone know of any good races coming up April or May?

I also have been thinking of taking a daily vitamin (yes I am 31 years old and don't take vitamins). Does anyone have any suggestions?  I also need to start eating a healthier dinner, any suggestions on yummy recipes for a healthy dinner that my WHOLE family will eat?

Well I think I am leaving you with a lot to think about! Seriously any help on Vitamins, races, and recipes I would gladly accept.

Also I want to add, that if you ever thought about doing P90X and didn't think you could do it, that is a LIE!! If I can do this then anyone can.  Take your time and do one workout at a time.  I promise you can do it!! I am not an expert on P90X, but I know the hardest part so far was the first week.  If you can get past that then you can totally rock P90X.  If you are just starting please know that it will get better. 

Well that is all for this Friday.  I will post something on Sunday and let you know how well or bad I did this weekend. I think the key to this weekend is to eat HEALTHY! That seems like a big task, but I can do it! Happy Friday everyone!