Friday, January 31, 2014

The What ifs.......

I am the queen of What Ifs......... I am sure you know what I mean. For example, I remember asking "What if I wasn't so jealous, then maybe my boyfriend wouldn't have dumped me." Or "What if I had been more girlie, then maybe he wouldn't have dumped me." These are questions that I asked myself shortly after my 1st boyfriend and I had broke up.  I was heart broken and at the time, I couldn't figure out what I did wrong. Oh, of course, I wasn't REALLY in love with him and later on I would realize why we broke up, but at that particular moment, the What ifs flooded my head.

The What if game really got to me when I had my two miscarriages and if you know ANYONE who has had a miscarriage I am sure they have gone through the same thing.  What if I had drank more water OR What if I rested more. etc. etc. I mean I thought about the What ifs for a LONG time and I still do to this day.  My big one is, "What if R is truly a miracle and we can't have any more kids?" It could be true. But at the same point, what good does do to dwell on these questions?

Well the other day I thought of something and it really seemed to change things for me. What if I could TRULY love myself, the way I am right now!! People this question truly changed things for me. So then I went further, What if I could let go of my insecurities? WOW, life changing.  Why is this so life changing??  Well for me, the What if game has always been about negative stuff and stuff in my PAST.  And now I'm asking the same question but in regards to my future and positive things. I felt like I was on cloud nine when this all came to me. I felt like I found the secret to my life. I felt like I found the secret to MY happiness. Now it has only been about 24 hours since this all came to me. So who knows in a month I may be singing a different song, but I really do think this is a game changer for me.

So what does this have to do with YOU?? Well for years I have read motivational tid bits and they all made sense, but they never HIT HOME.  For some people just saying, "I can do anything I put my mind to" is enough to get them going, but for me it wasn't.  So what do you think your moto/slogan/motivational phrase is?? You might be in the same boat as me? Yes, I know I can do anything I can put my mind to, but how on earth do get my mind in the game? Or Just keep swimming, well that is all fine and dandy, but I am not a swimmer (and yes I know what they are getting at) and now I want to watch Finding Nemo and now I'm wondering if they are ever going to make another Finding Nemo movie (which I think they are). But do you see what I'm saying here. These things didn't work for ME.  For a lot of people they did work.  I needed something different. Maybe you need something different. We are not all cut out of the same cookie cutter. So what works for one person or what gets them up in the morning isn't going to get you up or me up.

So what have I done with this secret to my happiness.  Well not a lot, so far. I have been eating better and honestly since thinking about all of this, eating healthier is easier.  NOT EASY, but easier. I got my butt to the gym this morning because I WANTED to be there. Before I went to the gym I was having this conversation with myself and it went something like this:

AT 4:38 a.m. alarm goes off for the millionth time
Good Jessica: Get up and let's go to the gym

Bad Jessica:  ummmm, I'm pretty tired, so let's go back to bed and get our 8 hours of sleep :)

Good Jessica: But you really like this class at the gym, come on lets go

Bad Jessica: ummmm, I'm pretty tired, so let's go back to bed and get our 8 hours of sleep :)

Good Jessica: NO!!!!!!! Please get up and let's move, you will feel better after you have gone to the gym!

Bad Jessica: ummmm, I'm pretty tired, so let's go back to bed and get our 8 hours of sleep :)

And then finally Bad Jessica said something else "We can work out tomorrow!!!!"

Ding Ding Ding!!! Good Jessica then replies "What if you go to the gym this morning, what will the rest of your day be like??" And finally the Bad Jessica voice fads away.

Okay, I'm not crazy, please tell me you have had these conversations in your head!!!

But seriously this got me to the gym this morning.  And today, I'm pretty darn tired and now I have a horrible cough (thank you R) and I'm seriously just trying to make it through the day, but I am also incredibly proud of myself for going to the gym even when I didn't feel like it. I went to the gym for myself, so I would feel better later.

The old Jessica would have gone back to bed. I didn't sleep that well last night, mostly because I was in the beginning stage of this cough.  But you know what? I got up to go to the gym with less than 6 hours of sleep.  A freaking miracle if you ask me. In the past, that would not have happened.

So now I'm doing this, to keep the momentum going:
I am going to keep putting stuff in there as little thoughts come my way.  I want to keep this going, I don't want to let myself down. I'm worth achieving my goals!! And for once I truly mean that last sentence.

I ate this for lunch yesterday.  Notice there is NO salad dressing on it. That is a first for me. I NEVER thought I could do that, but I did.  And Guess what?? It was good. It wasn't over the moon AMAZING, but it was good. Not only was it good, but I knew it was going to do good things in my body once I ate it. I couldn't eat it all, so for lunch today that is what I had as well.

This is me after I ran my 3 miles yesterday.  It was easier than it was to run my 2 miles on Tuesday. .

This is what my scale said today:
That is down 4 pounds from 2 weeks ago. I will TAKE IT!!! And I'm really hoping to see it continue to go down, but until then I think I'm going to enjoy the ride. What if I truly love myself, right now??? I hope this journey helps me answer that question, but I know the fact that I am asking it, is helping me find the answer already and making it more likely to happen.

Don't let the What ifs eat you up, change it around! Make those What ifs work for you! Or ditch the same ole slogan and find your OWN! Find something that works for YOU! I am not the most positive person when it comes to myself, but I'm turning that around. I want/need to be able to make myself happy. And I want to believe the compliments that I get from people. Because up until yesterday, if you said I looked nice, I would politely say thank you, but I didn't believe them. I would say "Oh she is saying that to be nice." Or "Maybe she should clean her glasses!!" I didn't believe it.  But guess what, I'm done saying that. What if I believed all the positive stuff people said about me as much as I believe all the negative things people say??

What are your What ifs?????

HAve a good weekend folks. The nice weather is gone, so stay inside and cuddle with the ones you love, including yourself.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

don't blink you might miss it

Hey, I'm still here! It has been a busy week at work and a busy week at home. All is good, just busy.  But I'm still working out and watching what I eat. This is going to be quick, but I wanted to update you on some things.

1.) I watched a documentary called "Hungry for change" and I honestly think I am going to look back at this documentary and say it changed my life.  I could be wrong, but it really opened my eyes.

2.) After the documentary I did this:
Yeah I went to library and found a bunch of food books. I want to know what I am putting in my body and I want to know what is going to make me the BEST mom, wife, daughter, employee, sister, etc... I want to be the best that I can be!

3.) I slowly jogged 4 miles on Sunday! BOOM! It felt amazing!

It was freaking slow, but I didn't stop to walk ONCE! And I felt like I was on top of the world afterwards!

5.) I had to run 3 miles yesterday and I STRUGGLED.  I was running on a treadmill and it SUCKED.  I have come to the conclusion that I HATE HATE HATE HATE treadmills!! I did walk and I walked several times, I just couldn't get into that mode. It stunk. But I logged those stinking 3 miles and I got my butt to the gym before work. To me, that is a win!

6.) I want to talk about the documentary some more, but for now I will tell you that there is one thing that I have started to do since then and that is tell myself this:
I tell myself this twice a day and I tell myself this when I am struggling or when I am happy! People it is helping!!

7.) We didn't have power today and all the things I planned on bringing with me to work today did NOT happen and I ate pizza for lunch. It is what it is folks. And I didn't get to the gym this morning. But that is okay because i'm pretty sure either P90X or some other kind of work out is calling my name tonight after I put R to bed.

8.) oh and because I Accept myself as I am RIGHT NOW, here is an update pic of me. It is totally not my favorite, but it is me.

This is me before the HORRIBLE 3 miles that I slowly jogged.

9.) R is adjusting to his new daycare, but I'm still not 100% sure that he is where he should be. I will keep you updated on that. But on Saturday we went to the park because it was BEAUTIFUL outside.

he kept telling me he didn't want to take a picture, so this is all I got! I have no idea who that kid is on top of tunnel.

10.) I can't leave you on an odd number, that isn't right. So 10 is......................................................... a question.  What kind of health books do you read?  Or what documentary opened your eyes??

Have a GREAT week! Mine is flying by, but that isn't so bad.

Friday, January 24, 2014

I got real!!

So last night I went to the gym and had a pretty good workout but I was hit with reality, not only have I gained weight but I lost a lot of my muscle!! This is pretty sad. Why, you ask. Well because it means I am BIGGER than I use to be. I knew I was, but I was in denial about how bad it was really was. I knew that most of my clothes were getting too tight and uncomfortable but I kept telling myself "just lose 5 pounds and they will feel better."  People I am here to say that just losing 5 pounds isn't going to make them feel better. I need to lose the weight but also tone things up AGAIN! 

As I was lifting my weights I really saw how my body has transform. I saw my trouble areas again. This could have been really depressing but to be honest it wasn't. It just opened my eyes to reality. It got real!! And I was HAPPY that I got the wake up call when I did. So what did my workout consist of last night. 

I made this work out back in June and let me tell you there is a huge difference between then and now. We did everything except for the Abs and Eliptical at the end, we ran out of time. Oh and I didn't use the bands. The band make it harder for you to focus on your form which makes then harder to do. Well they were plenty hard to do without the bands. But I will be adding them back in one day!! 

I'd say I still got a good work out though 

And my eating is still on track. In fact I saw this on my fitness pal app 

The day I see 155 is the day I am throwing a huge party and according to this that will be in about 5 weeks ;) 

But last night I was dragging and I had this conversation with my friend about going to the gym. 

I am SO GLAD my friend didn't back out because I would have stayed home and done NOTHING! Once I had it in my mind that I was going to go, I got excited. Excited, you say??? Yeah because I knew we would be lifting weights. My love for that has not changed, I just need to make time for it. But I do love lifting weights!!! So thank you KAYLA!! I got to the gym even though I was extremely tired and did a work out I could be proud of!! 

On that note, do any of you have a hard time falling asleep? If so, what do you take? I have been having this problem and tylonal PM is not working. I need my sleep people, just ask my husband, I have been a grouch lately!! 

So that is all I got for now. I am really going to try hard to stay on point this weekend. I need to run/walk 4 miles this weekend and I would like to lift too! I think the big key is to keep logging my food! That really does seem to be helping me! 

Have a good weekend, we should have decent weather this weekend and then it gets cold again, so go do something outside!! :) 

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Daycare fiasco update

So if you read my blog from last week you know that we were fired from daycare on Thursday of last week. 

So on Friday Jed and I went to the daycare center that I had talked about. And we both walked out of there thinking that this really all happening for a reason because the center is GREAT! So we arranged for R to start on Monday. They handed me a huge enrollment form (it was seriously like 10 pages long) and a January flyer. I got to looking at all the information and instantly got an anxiety attack. The first week there he would need to bring a sack lunch, show n tell, and have pictures. Okay so things just got real. My kid has activities now!!!! I have to keep track of all this crap, I mean stuff. I don't want to be the mom that forgets to bring his sack lunch on the days they don't provide lunch (which doesn't happen very often) or forget to have him bring his show n tell toy/item. So now my calendar is all color coded with R's stuff. Oh boy! I feel like he is turning into a big kid over night and I don't like it!!! Stay my baby!!! 

On top of all the activities that I had to keep organized, this whole center thing is a HUGE change for R! I was really concerned that he would have a hard time adjusting. I had a hard time sleeping all weekend just wondering if we made the right decision and mad that we even had to make this decision.  

So come Monday morning I was a wreck!!! I was so nervous for him. I tried to prep him all weekend but you could tell he wasn't really paying attention. So when we showed up to the center he FREAKED out. I stayed there for 5-10 minutes while the teacher showed us around (stuff like where the bathroom was and his new cubby) then they said it would be easier if I left. I did not want to leave but I knew they were right. It broke my heart to leave him. He was crying and asking to go home. Once I gave him to the teacher I pretty much ran out of there, I couldn't handle it!! 

So I waited about an hour and a half to call them. When I did she said he cried for 5-10 minutes after I left but then did fine after that. Once he got comfortable around the other children he started to play with them and have FUN!! 

When we picked him up that day he said he had fun and wanted to go back! Of course the next day when Jed dropped him off he didn't want to get out of the car at first but once he got him out of the car he did fine. And yesterday he did excellent. 

So all in all he is adjusting just fine. When i pick him up he is excited to see me but is excited to tell me about his day. He seems to really enjoy it!! I am glad this is all working out.  

I even remembered his sack lunch on Monday and his show n tell toys yesterday. So I would say that this is all turning out to be a positive thing.

This weekend we need to go buy a book bag for him but other than that he is all set. But it is amazing how much older he seems already and that part is fun and sad all at the same time. 

I remember when he would grab my finger and you could still see most of my finger. That isn't the case anymore :( I wish time would slow down. 

He thought this was just AWESOME. I wasn't so thrilled about it, but he had fun. He thought the cones were like road cones that needed to be raced around. He made car noises the whole time. I know it is going to be these moments that I miss the most when he is older. 

Also....... Yesterday I kept up with my re-dedication! 
And today has been going in the same direction. This makes me happy happy happy!!! 

I hope you all are having a good week! If I am really on top of my game, I will post tomorrow as well. 3 posts a week (one of my NY's resolutions) 

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

My re-dedication

So I woke up this morning and started my morning routine and before I got into the shower I decided that I NEEDED to weigh myself this morning. I knew it wasn't going to be pretty, but I knew that I needed to.  So I get on the scale and I see this

Okay I couldn't get this stupid picture to upload correctly, so this is what you get.  And HOLY COW!! How on earth did I let this happen AGAIN!  I told myself that I would NEVER EVER see 180 again. And here it is. Knocking at my door. But I needed this. I truly needed this.  I have been half assing it with my eating and workouts. Okay maybe I should say that I haven't really been going to the gym at all lately or not the way that I should. I have let life get in my way.  And to be honest there is really NO GOOD reason for me not doing better.  I have been lazy and just flat out distant.  I have been in denial about all of it. Well that stops now. I'm so over this!

So after I picked up my jaw from the floor, I hopped in the shower and thought about how I need to change this. And I found myself inspired. For the first time in a long time.  After the new year I thought that might encourage me to get back on the horse or wagon, but to be honest I was faking it. I thought if I faked it long enough, I would believe myself. It wasn't happening. Not until this morning did everything come full circle. I am tired of sitting in pity me party.  I'm just over it all! So here I am re-dedicating myself to a better life, yes I know you guys read the same thing last year. And it is true, but weight loss is like a roller coaster.  Some days you have some highs and other days there are lows, well I have been in a low spot for about 5-6 months. Well I am tired of being in that low spot, I am going to pull myself out of this spot. And I truly never want to see 180 hit that scale again.

I started things off right this morning, I had this for breakfast
My breakfast was all right, I need to add a banana or something because it just didn't impress me this morning.  But at least it wasn't cover in grease.
For lunch I just grabbed a lean cuisine (yes I know they aren't as healthy as they claim to be), but I need to have something to take with me and if I didn't then I knew I would go some where for lunch and get something greasy and fattening. For dinner I have no idea what I am going to have.  R and I will have to go to the store after I pick him up from daycare and find something yummy and healthy.
After all the eating, then I will head to the gym. Well actually it will be after R goes to bed. But that that is what I got to do to get this thing started. So yes, I am starting over AGAIN.  It was something I was scared of last summer, but here I am. And I'm okay with that because I'm just glad that I'm moving forward.

Now why on earth did this one come out right!! It sure does feel like a Monday around here!!

So what is my plan from here on out?? WEll I have this horrible and exciting race to train for called a half marathon.  So that is going to be my focus for the next few months. I need to eat, breathe, sleep, half marathon thoughts. So that is what I am going to do. I am also going to focus on eating clean again. I felt so much better this last summer and I want to get back to that. With that said my goal is to record EVERYTHING into Myfitnesspal app. If I have a glass of wine, logging it.  If I have a Hershey kiss, logging it. If I have a kernel of popcorn, logging it!! Do you get the point.  This is how I am going to HAVE to be for a while.
I have a few other things up my sleeve for the near future, but I want to really focus on the Half marathon (I may start calling it a "halfie" not sure why, but it seems more fun that way).  So until the longest race of my life happens, I am going to concentrate on my short goals.
How is your new years resolution coming along?? Do you fake it until you make it?? Or do you need a re-dedication moment like me???
Have a good hump day folks! 

Thursday, January 16, 2014

my child, daycare, and my inability to deal with change.

So yesterday when I picked up my little angel (who am I kidding, that kid is no angel, but he is no devil either) I was greeted (if you can say that) by R's daycare provider with a "We have to let R go." My response, "That bad of a day." And her response, "No, we have to let him, we are over capacity." AT this point I start laughing and say, "You are joking, right?" And I am quickly told that she is serious and that we need to find another day care provider.  They are over capacity and JUST found out.  SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?! WTF.

If you know me, and you have to know me really well to know this, I don't handle change very well. If Jed tells me he has to work out of town with less than 24 hour notice, I kinda freak out on him.  Yes, I know it isn't his fault, but I do VERY well with routine and do VERY bad when someone changes things without a heads up. Well you can imagine how I felt after I left our daycare providers house.  Now she did say that she will watch him while we look for another place, but honestly that didn't help my anxiety. I had a MILLION thoughts going through my head.  And I was mad and hurt. She has watch R since he was 9 weeks old. He has grown up knowing she will always be there and that the kids will always be there. For the most part there isn't a high turnover there.  So the kids he sees are the kids he sees on a daily basis. And R was pretty much the oldest one there, he had finally become the big kid on campus. I knew what to expect when I picked him up and dropped him off. Yes there were times when I wondered if she responded correctly to R's different moods, but for the most part, R has always wanted to go to daycare and has always been pretty loving towards her. You are never going to find the PERFECT daycare provider because they are NOT you.

So any ways, my plans for running last night did not happen. I went home and had a glass of wine and TRIED to cool my fumes. But the more I thought about it the more I got mad. So what is a girl do when she gets this mad and can't calm down, she drinks some wine. Which means I didn't make it to the gym!! Womp womp.

So then this morning I woke up mad.  It wasn't until about noon today that I finally came to peace with this. But one of the reasons I was still mad this morning is because I didn't run. I need to be logging miles and it isn't happening. But seriously, you have no idea how mad I was last night. I NEEDED that glass of wine, well lets be honest it was 2 glasses of wine! So tonight I will hit the gym.

So what will happen to R? Well, I talked to another daycare place and it sounds like it is the place to go.  It isn't ran out of a house, it is more like a center which I am a little excited about.  Yes I said excited. Plus we can do pre-school out of this center as well which I think R needs. He is smart and I think he needs to be stimulated more at daycare/preschool. So in the end I think this will be a good thing. And yes I know that God does these things on purpose.  I wasn't going to change providers, even though Jed and I thought about it a couple different times.  I get comfortable and content and just let life keep trucking the way it has for so long. God knows what is best for my family and even though I didn't plan for this change, he knew it was for the best. And it will be.  I just need to stop freaking out. Although, that is MUCH EASIER said than done.

So what should YOU take away from this post? It takes a lot to get me mad but seriously, if you  mess with my KID, HUSBAND, or MY ROUTINE you will see a side of Jessica that you won't like.  And to be honest, I don't like it either.  Because when I am mad, I like to drink, eat, and sleep. Not the best recipe for a healthy life style. So please don't make me mad, my "healthy" side is begging you to NOT make me mad.

The END! (2 blog posts in a week. I am on a roll folks!!)

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Resolution Update

Oh boy, I have not done well with my 3 posts a week. Oh well. Life has been a little hectic and the blog gets left behind when I start to get overwhelmed. 


How are your 2014 resolutions coming along??? Good, bad, ugly??? I hope not ugly!! 

Mine are okayish (I know that isn't a word, don't freak out on me). 

I am FINALLY starting to eat better, not great but better. I am easing into the whole eating better. Not a huge fan of healthy frozen food. But they are easy to bring in the morning for lunch and they are better than eating a double cheese burger from McDonalds. So that is what I am having today 

It will do for today. 

As for running and prepping for the half marathon I am doing okayish. I need to be up to 3 miles by next week, and I might be there. Wish me luck. I really hate to run a treadmill but I have no other choice right now. Hopefully this weekend I can run outside :) 

I did get a good calorie burn the other day 

Sorry for the crappy pic. It was dark out and this is the best I could do!! 

Tonight I will head back to the gym and run and hopefully get some weight lifting done too. 

Next week I am hoping to get back to the gym in the morning. I have been having the hardest time falling asleep at night and if I get less than 6 1/2 hours of sleep then this girl CANNOT wake up before 6:00 am. So I am hoping I get on a better schedule next week. 

What is new with you folks?? 

Hope you are having a great week. 

I did bail out on exercising last night so I could watch this 

Yeah we won!! Go K-state!!! 

Thursday, January 9, 2014

The post I may never post

If you are reading this it is because I was brave enough to hit the publish button. YIKES!

I can't sleep, it is 1:23 a.m. and I am WIDE awake. I took some tylonal PM an hour ago and yet, Mr. Sandman has not met me. UGH.  I hate when I can't sleep, I get annoyed and then it makes it even harder to sleep. I know that tomorrow is going to be a rough day and I think the stress of all of this makes it even harder to fall asleep.

So What am I thinking about as EVERYONE in my house is sleeping.  I am thinking that if I write, then I can free my brain of some of the stuff rolling around in my head and then just maybe I will be able to sleep.

Today while listening to Katy Perry's ROAR, it hit me.  I carry around a lot of guilt.  Not for one certain thing, not for something specific, but generic things. For example, I feel like a failure as a mother.  I feel like I should be doing more for R.  Don't get me wrong, he has clean clothes, food on his plate, and a place to call home, but I feel like there is so much more that I could or should be offering. And not material things, the kid has enough toys. It is more like love and attention. I tell him that I love him and I give him hugs daily, but yet I feel like that isn't enough. DOES ANY OF THIS MAKE SENSE??? 

Oh but wait, it doesn't stop there. I feel like a lousy wife most of the time too and a horrible friend. I
 mean, how can I possibly be that bad at all the important things in my life? And now, we can add, a horrible blogger. I probably won't post this post because I have this horrible feeling that most of you are thinking that I am searching for compliments and that isn't the case.  The thing is, people tell me good things all the time. I AM JUST TOO HARD ON MYSELF? Why are we so critical of ourselves?? We should be our biggest supporters and best friends, but I find myself sabotaging myself.

So why do we do it? I have no freaking idea. Maybe I am the only freak out there that is so darn hard on myself. Where did these expectations come from?  Who said I had to be mother of the year? or Wife or Friend of the year? I guess I see these people and they have all their shit together and I wonder, "Why can't I be like that?" Why can't my house be as clean or as organized as Jane Doe's house?  Why can't I have the patience of Jane Doe? How could I possible forget Jane Doe's birthday? CRAP!!! And there are a million excuses for everything, but there are just those people who seem to be able to do it ALL and why the hell can't I be that person too? And on top it, those people are freaking smiling all the time and happy go lucky. Those people make me sick and yet I want to be those people.  So it is settled, I am the sick one.

So you want to know the real crazy thing.  If any one of my friends came and told me all of this.  You know what I would tell them?? Stop being so hard on yourself. You ARE NOT PERFECT! and if you could look inside those "perfect" people's lives, you would find out they aren't so perfect or happy? And I would list off some of the things that I admire about that person.  And here is the real kicker, I believe all the things I tell that person. I honestly see all those characters in that person.  I don't like to lie to people, especially when I am talking about the good I see. I want that person to see all the GREAT things I see.  So why can't I see all the good things in me?  There are some good things, I know it! But why do I focus so hard on all my failures.

I have struggled with this blog lately because I feel like such a failure in the weight loss department.  so how can I get on here and tell you guys what I am doing is doing any good.  It isn't.  I feel like I am treading water.  I know what I need to do, I just can't seem to do it. Or I can't seem to commit 100% to it.  I think I am honestly scared of failing, AGAIN! But I also realize that being scared doesn't get you ANY WHERE in life. 

So from here on out, I am going to work REALLY hard on letting go. I am not going to focus on what I did wrong or what I should be doing, I am going to look at all the good things I did. Even if it is getting ONE load of laundry done or getting to work on time. For heavens sake, at least I did ONE thing right.

So there you have it.  A look into my soul.  You now know what keeps me up at night. And I'm hoping that once I am done with this post, I will be able to find some rest. Because God knows, I deserve a good nights sleep. You know why?? I made it to work on time today and there was food on our plates tonight and the dishes are done!! Good night folks, this girl is going to get some beauty sleep.

PS. I am going to hit the publish button without going back to read my post.  Don't be too harsh!!! I know if I go back and re-read it then I won't hit the publish button.  But I am hoping that I am not the only crazy one out there, that someone can relate to me.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Let's try this again

New year so let's start some things over. I know I haven't posted in forever but I was in a blogging funk and that is mostly due to the fact that I wasn't working out either. Boo! Why wasn't I working out?? Well it is simple, I didn't make it a priority. But I am jumping on the New Years band wagon and starting fresh, AGAIN! I am so dedicated that I am blogging on my phone over the my lunch break. 

So here are my 2014 goals!

• To be strong and fit
• Run a half marathon 
• To calm down, take things down a notch (I think my husband and child could use a vacation from the crazy train) 
• Get organized 
• Get to work on time!
•blog 3 times a week. ( I really love to blog, I just didn't make the time for it) 

A lot of these are vague, I know. But that is what I got for now. But I did do this earlier this week 
Yeah I signed up for a half marathon in April in Abilene Ks. My cousin's husband will be running with me (well ahead of me but he will be there too). And since I did that, I got my butt to the gym this morning and I was able to run a mile and then I walked on the treadmill uphill for a while. 

I burned a good 300 calories. Not too bad for my first day back. Btw, that is a Christmas present and I LOVE it!!! 

Another thing I love is this

Because you can make these: 

So good!!! I have turkey sausage, cheese, egg, and siracha in my English muffin. Ohhhh my. It is so good. (I just bought some Ezekiel muffins, so I will start using them tomorrow) 

And I am back to weighing in on Fridays. This is actually yesterday's weight but whatever 

Yeah it is bad!! I know. But I am still about 10 pounds lighter than last year at this time. 

My goal is to FEEL better in my skin and I don't feel good right now. I will say even after today's workout I feel better than I did yesterday so I am heading in the right direction. 

And it wouldn't be complete if I didn't post a pic of my kid. So here ya go!! :) 

What are your New Year Resolutions? Is one of them to run a half marathon with me??? Lol come on, you can do it!!