Wednesday, January 22, 2014

My re-dedication

So I woke up this morning and started my morning routine and before I got into the shower I decided that I NEEDED to weigh myself this morning. I knew it wasn't going to be pretty, but I knew that I needed to.  So I get on the scale and I see this

Okay I couldn't get this stupid picture to upload correctly, so this is what you get.  And HOLY COW!! How on earth did I let this happen AGAIN!  I told myself that I would NEVER EVER see 180 again. And here it is. Knocking at my door. But I needed this. I truly needed this.  I have been half assing it with my eating and workouts. Okay maybe I should say that I haven't really been going to the gym at all lately or not the way that I should. I have let life get in my way.  And to be honest there is really NO GOOD reason for me not doing better.  I have been lazy and just flat out distant.  I have been in denial about all of it. Well that stops now. I'm so over this!

So after I picked up my jaw from the floor, I hopped in the shower and thought about how I need to change this. And I found myself inspired. For the first time in a long time.  After the new year I thought that might encourage me to get back on the horse or wagon, but to be honest I was faking it. I thought if I faked it long enough, I would believe myself. It wasn't happening. Not until this morning did everything come full circle. I am tired of sitting in pity me party.  I'm just over it all! So here I am re-dedicating myself to a better life, yes I know you guys read the same thing last year. And it is true, but weight loss is like a roller coaster.  Some days you have some highs and other days there are lows, well I have been in a low spot for about 5-6 months. Well I am tired of being in that low spot, I am going to pull myself out of this spot. And I truly never want to see 180 hit that scale again.

I started things off right this morning, I had this for breakfast
My breakfast was all right, I need to add a banana or something because it just didn't impress me this morning.  But at least it wasn't cover in grease.
For lunch I just grabbed a lean cuisine (yes I know they aren't as healthy as they claim to be), but I need to have something to take with me and if I didn't then I knew I would go some where for lunch and get something greasy and fattening. For dinner I have no idea what I am going to have.  R and I will have to go to the store after I pick him up from daycare and find something yummy and healthy.
After all the eating, then I will head to the gym. Well actually it will be after R goes to bed. But that that is what I got to do to get this thing started. So yes, I am starting over AGAIN.  It was something I was scared of last summer, but here I am. And I'm okay with that because I'm just glad that I'm moving forward.

Now why on earth did this one come out right!! It sure does feel like a Monday around here!!

So what is my plan from here on out?? WEll I have this horrible and exciting race to train for called a half marathon.  So that is going to be my focus for the next few months. I need to eat, breathe, sleep, half marathon thoughts. So that is what I am going to do. I am also going to focus on eating clean again. I felt so much better this last summer and I want to get back to that. With that said my goal is to record EVERYTHING into Myfitnesspal app. If I have a glass of wine, logging it.  If I have a Hershey kiss, logging it. If I have a kernel of popcorn, logging it!! Do you get the point.  This is how I am going to HAVE to be for a while.
I have a few other things up my sleeve for the near future, but I want to really focus on the Half marathon (I may start calling it a "halfie" not sure why, but it seems more fun that way).  So until the longest race of my life happens, I am going to concentrate on my short goals.
How is your new years resolution coming along?? Do you fake it until you make it?? Or do you need a re-dedication moment like me???
Have a good hump day folks! 

1 comment:

  1. that's the scary moment, to decide to face the scale or not to? You did and you are moving forward! That is more than most people can say, the don't want to know. You wanted to know so you could do something about it.

    I'm on MFP as aprilelayne and logging 100% for 38days straight now (I hope I didn't jinx myself now! ha)