Monday, July 29, 2013

When it rains it pours

So I was MIA last week, but I have several good reasons why.

1. I was sick from Monday thru Thursday. And when I say sick, I means SICK. I had the worst stomach ache and I had ZERO energy! It completely wiped me out. On Wednesday I went to the doctor and they weren't sure what is was, but all my test came back negative. And yes I did take a pregnancy test and it was negative too.

2. Thursday marked the one year anniversary since my cousin passed away. It has been my mind A LOT lately and I honestly wanted to do a dedication post to her, but with being so sick I honestly didn't have the physical energy or the mental energy to make it the best post I could give her.

3. This is a big one. On Thursday I made myself go to work even though I didn't feel well and was sad because of Abby. I knew I needed to go to work, I wanted to go to work because I couldn't stand to be in the house any longer! So I go to work and my head starts pounding and I keep telling myself that I need to make it to noon and then I can go lay down. Shortly after I give myself this pep talk for the hundredth time my boss pulls me into the conference room. I figured it was to update me on what I had missed over the few days, but instead he looks at me with tears in his eyes and says that my position has been terminated. He is really nice about it and tells me that it wasn't anything I did wrong, but that there needed to be changes in the company and these changes included getting rid of my position and that this would take place immediately.

So I gathered my things and head home. I felt like I had been dumped by a boyfriend (that I liked, but wasn't in love with) and his line was "it isn't you, it is me." I cried all the way home and was in shock. I had never been let go before. I wasn't exactly happy with my job, but it was a job. What I did like was my co-worker and my boss. So I wasn't exactly sad to be leaving my job, what I was sad about was that I felt like I had been fired and that now I didn't know what would happen. I am stil a little lost.

So needless to say Thursday was a crappy day. But I went home that day and I started to look for jobs. I feel like this is God's way of saying, "Jesssica you weren't happy and you can do better, but you didn't see that so I now I am forcing you to go look for a new job that better fits you and your abilities." Crazy what a week can do for your life.

One thing I will tell you is that filing unemployment is NO fun. There is a bunch of crap to fill out and it can be a little confusing and then when you call them you will be on hold for about 30 minutes before you even reach anyone. Ugh. It is very frustrating. But hey what do I have to do all day.

The hardest part of all of this is that I don't know what lies ahead of me. Will I figure out a way to be a stay at home mom? Will I find greener grass (better job)? Will my next job be worse? Ugh let's hope not. There are a lot of questions and I don't have the answer to them. My future feels up in the air. But here is the thing. I am not at home moping around in my robe. I have a meeting\interview this afternoon and I have other applications submitted for other positions. I won't let this get me down! I can't, I have a family to support and a 2 year old(almost 3) looking up to me. I know God has a plan for me, I just don't know what it is yet.

Also this is the first time I blogged on my iPad to please excuse any misspelled words or grammar issues because this is harder than I thought it would be. My lap top is not letting me use all my letters or numbers and it is really pissing me off, so the iPad is my blogging machine now. Once again not the end of the world.

Well I hope you all have a good week. PLEASE DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR ME! That isn't the reason I wrote this post, I just want to update you on my life and why I was MIA last week. I told you I had a good reason to be gone! Oh and by the way I will be hitting the gym again this afternoon. I haven't forgotten why I started this blog and what my goals are. I will keep you updated on how that goes, I am guessing I will be sore tomorrow since I didn't make it to the gym at all last week.

Oh and also I like my title because ever sine Thursday it feels like all have gotten around here is rain. It is raining right now. Last year it was soooooo dry and this year is completely different. I believe we are even in a flood watch here. So yeah I think the title is fitting!

Take care and I will be back on Wednesday.


No comments:

Post a Comment