Friday, September 13, 2013

Pity party for one please

Today felt like another failure day and I was really trying to figure what the hell was going on. I had zero motivation to do anything and I was freaking exhausted. I could feel this depression hanging over me and there was nothing I could tell myself to snap out of it. And so I was feeling even worse. So I was going to write this post about how some days are just bad days and there is NOTHING you can do about it but feel blue. But then I got into bed and decided I would catch up on some blogs that I haven't read in a while and I realized that I couldn't pull myself out this funk, but that some pretty awesome ladies could. One of the first ones I read was mama laughlins, her blog was one of the first ones I started reading on a regular basis. The post that got to me was this one Here. It is about this family with a great outlook on their 7 month old's terminal illness. It is sooooo upbeat and beautiful. I honestly think it is one of the most inspirational things I have read in a LONG time. It will make you think about your outlook on life after you read it.

The other post I read that made me take a step back was from First Name Smith, Here. She is pregnant with twin and she talks about how they (she) is adjusting to the idea of having twins, but that she also had a miscarriage with their first pregnancy. She also talks about how a mother falls in love with her child as soon as she knows she is pregnant and I couldn't agree more with how she explains how you become a mother at that moment.

With all of this said does this mean my life is going to change over night because I read these post? nope. Do I still feel like a failed blogger? kinda. Does this mean I expect all of you to smile like there are rainbows flowing out of your butt? Uhhhhh, NO! What I got out of tonight was that I can and should get inspired from other people. I can't always rely on myself to pull myself out of my weird funks. But I also can't rely strictly on other people either. There needs to be a balance and I realized that tonight.

I also realized that I am not the best blogger in the world, but that is okay. I want to be positive with you all and that can't always be the case. I am going to have crappy days, but that is alright and I just might have to blog about it. Lol either way, I am not perfect (something I am always so annoyed with) and I need to stop expecting myself to be perfect. It is NEVER going to happen.

How about you guys, what do you do for a quick pick me up? Me, I like food. Hey, this is me being hones here. .But it never seems to work like I think it will. Because later on I just feel guilty for eating crap.

So today (i wrote the first part of the blog last night and the second half this morning) is weigh in Friday and the magic number is 171. Womp Womp. But I think I needed to see this number. I haven't seen anything above 170 in a long time. It made me realize that a lot of things are out of whack and the only way I am going to see the results I want to see is for ME TO MAKE SOME CHANGES. So I am re-dedicating myself to achieving my goals. First goal is to lose 5 pounds this month. But ultimately I would like to see the 140's and if that means 149 then that is fine, but I freaking want to see a 1-4-and some other random number on that darn scale and before 1-1-2014 I will see that number!!!

Wel that is it for me. You can give that pity party table to someone else because this pity party has left the building. Have a good weekend and I will be back next week!!



  1. If you didn't get down every once in a while, then you really are a "SuperWoman"...and then we hate you for it. Your honesty is basically the reality we all face, whether we are bloggers or not.

    You CAN do it.
    This funk is here today, but not forever...mission accomplished, its out, go and work it off and work towards you goal in spite of that mean funk. You can beat the funk.

  2. Hey Jessica, been meaning to comment on this, but hadn't had a chance yet. Anyway, as a Cajun, I, too often crave junk food when I'm feeling low. I don't know if I expect any actual comfort from it, but I sure do crave it!

    The problem with good, quick pick-me-ups is that the most effective ones are the hardest to make yourself do when sad or depressed. Good, hard exercise usually has the biggest positive effect on me, but in all honesty, it's nearly impossible to convince myself to move off the couch when I need it the most. The thing that I can make myself do that does seem to help a lot is going outside to play fetch with the dog. It was a sure-fire pick-me-up with Bailey because he was always so excited about it and had the best doggie smile. But Molly has been giving me a boost, too. She's starting to get really into fetch now that the weather is cooling down and is fetching with happy abandon now instead of border collie-style intensity. I find doggie joy to be very contagious. :)

    The other thing that seems to work a bit (if I can force myself to do it) is do something productive that has visible results. Something like vacuuming/sweeping up dog hair or cleaning up some clutter makes me feel like I've accomplished something. And, unfortunately for me with my messy nature (and James'), a clean house does actually make me happy.

    I hope you are doing better. I'd say that the Tough Mudder qualifies as a good, hard workout. :)