My re-dedication

So I woke up this morning and started my morning routine and before I got into the shower I decided that I NEEDED to weigh myself this morning. I knew it wasn't going to be pretty, but I knew that I needed to.  So I get on the scale and I see this

Okay I couldn't get this stupid picture to upload correctly, so this is what you get.  And HOLY COW!! How on earth did I let this happen AGAIN!  I told myself that I would NEVER EVER see 180 again. And here it is. Knocking at my door. But I needed this. I truly needed this.  I have been half assing it with my eating and workouts. Okay maybe I should say that I haven't really been going to the gym at all lately or not the way that I should. I have let life get in my way.  And to be honest there is really NO GOOD reason for me not doing better.  I have been lazy and just flat out distant.  I have been in denial about all of it. Well that stops now. I'm so over this!

So after I picked up my jaw from the floor, I hopped in the shower and thought about how I need to change this. And I found myself inspired. For the first time in a long time.  After the new year I thought that might encourage me to get back on the horse or wagon, but to be honest I was faking it. I thought if I faked it long enough, I would believe myself. It wasn't happening. Not until this morning did everything come full circle. I am tired of sitting in pity me party.  I'm just over it all! So here I am re-dedicating myself to a better life, yes I know you guys read the same thing last year. And it is true, but weight loss is like a roller coaster.  Some days you have some highs and other days there are lows, well I have been in a low spot for about 5-6 months. Well I am tired of being in that low spot, I am going to pull myself out of this spot. And I truly never want to see 180 hit that scale again.

I started things off right this morning, I had this for breakfast

 

 

My breakfast was all right, I need to add a banana or something because it just didn't impress me this morning.  But at least it wasn't cover in grease.

 

For lunch I just grabbed a lean cuisine (yes I know they aren't as healthy as they claim to be), but I need to have something to take with me and if I didn't then I knew I would go some where for lunch and get something greasy and fattening. For dinner I have no idea what I am going to have.  R and I will have to go to the store after I pick him up from daycare and find something yummy and healthy.

 

After all the eating, then I will head to the gym. Well actually it will be after R goes to bed. But that that is what I got to do to get this thing started. So yes, I am starting over AGAIN.  It was something I was scared of last summer, but here I am. And I'm okay with that because I'm just glad that I'm moving forward.

 

 







Now why on earth did this one come out right!! It sure does feel like a Monday around here!!

 



So what is my plan from here on out?? WEll I have this horrible and exciting race to train for called a half marathon.  So that is going to be my focus for the next few months. I need to eat, breathe, sleep, half marathon thoughts. So that is what I am going to do. I am also going to focus on eating clean again. I felt so much better this last summer and I want to get back to that. With that said my goal is to record EVERYTHING into Myfitnesspal app. If I have a glass of wine, logging it.  If I have a Hershey kiss, logging it. If I have a kernel of popcorn, logging it!! Do you get the point.  This is how I am going to HAVE to be for a while.

 

I have a few other things up my sleeve for the near future, but I want to really focus on the Half marathon (I may start calling it a "halfie" not sure why, but it seems more fun that way).  So until the longest race of my life happens, I am going to concentrate on my short goals.

 

How is your new years resolution coming along?? Do you fake it until you make it?? Or do you need a re-dedication moment like me???

 

Have a good hump day folks!