my child, daycare, and my inability to deal with change.

So yesterday when I picked up my little angel (who am I kidding, that kid is no angel, but he is no devil either) I was greeted (if you can say that) by R's daycare provider with a "We have to let R go." My response, "That bad of a day." And her response, "No, we have to let him, we are over capacity." AT this point I start laughing and say, "You are joking, right?" And I am quickly told that she is serious and that we need to find another day care provider.  They are over capacity and JUST found out.  SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?! WTF.

If you know me, and you have to know me really well to know this, I don't handle change very well. If Jed tells me he has to work out of town with less than 24 hour notice, I kinda freak out on him.  Yes, I know it isn't his fault, but I do VERY well with routine and do VERY bad when someone changes things without a heads up. Well you can imagine how I felt after I left our daycare providers house.  Now she did say that she will watch him while we look for another place, but honestly that didn't help my anxiety. I had a MILLION thoughts going through my head.  And I was mad and hurt. She has watch R since he was 9 weeks old. He has grown up knowing she will always be there and that the kids will always be there. For the most part there isn't a high turnover there.  So the kids he sees are the kids he sees on a daily basis. And R was pretty much the oldest one there, he had finally become the big kid on campus. I knew what to expect when I picked him up and dropped him off. Yes there were times when I wondered if she responded correctly to R's different moods, but for the most part, R has always wanted to go to daycare and has always been pretty loving towards her. You are never going to find the PERFECT daycare provider because they are NOT you.

So any ways, my plans for running last night did not happen. I went home and had a glass of wine and TRIED to cool my fumes. But the more I thought about it the more I got mad. So what is a girl do when she gets this mad and can't calm down, she drinks some wine. Which means I didn't make it to the gym!! Womp womp.

So then this morning I woke up mad.  It wasn't until about noon today that I finally came to peace with this. But one of the reasons I was still mad this morning is because I didn't run. I need to be logging miles and it isn't happening. But seriously, you have no idea how mad I was last night. I NEEDED that glass of wine, well lets be honest it was 2 glasses of wine! So tonight I will hit the gym.

So what will happen to R? Well, I talked to another daycare place and it sounds like it is the place to go.  It isn't ran out of a house, it is more like a center which I am a little excited about.  Yes I said excited. Plus we can do pre-school out of this center as well which I think R needs. He is smart and I think he needs to be stimulated more at daycare/preschool. So in the end I think this will be a good thing. And yes I know that God does these things on purpose.  I wasn't going to change providers, even though Jed and I thought about it a couple different times.  I get comfortable and content and just let life keep trucking the way it has for so long. God knows what is best for my family and even though I didn't plan for this change, he knew it was for the best. And it will be.  I just need to stop freaking out. Although, that is MUCH EASIER said than done.

So what should YOU take away from this post? It takes a lot to get me mad but seriously, if you  mess with my KID, HUSBAND, or MY ROUTINE you will see a side of Jessica that you won't like.  And to be honest, I don't like it either.  Because when I am mad, I like to drink, eat, and sleep. Not the best recipe for a healthy life style. So please don't make me mad, my "healthy" side is begging you to NOT make me mad.

The END! (2 blog posts in a week. I am on a roll folks!!)