Update

Okay so I wrote this really long post on the tough mudder that I did a week ago, but the stupid post won't post. It takes too long to download and for some reason it won't post it. I am going to work on it and hopefully this week it will get posted.

This last weekend we celebrated R's 3rd birthday. It was a great time. We probably had around 30-40 people at our house and normally I get a little overwhelmed we have that many people over, but this year I just took it easy. Things didn't go as smoothly as I wanted them to, but oh well. No party I ever throw is going to be perfect, I think I am finally starting to understand that.

Of cour I used my other camera and don't have any pics for you. I will work on that as well.

This week goal is to get back at it. What does that mean? Well I need to what I eat and get back at the gym. I hurt my knee after or during the touch mudder and that meant I didn't go to the gym last week. I needed to give my knee a rest and cleaning the house was hard enough on it. There were times I had to make myself stop doing what I was doing because it hurt so bad. But yesterday it seemed to finally feel normal again. thank goodness, because if it wasn't better today I was going to call the doctor. So this morning I started off with a protein shake and that normally starts me off in the right direction.

I also have that stinking challenge that I have to keep thinking about too. I need to get my before pictures posted,I hate taking pictures of myself. So I have things to look forward to and I need to stay on track in October. Especially if I want to meet my goal of 20 pounds lost before 1/1/2014.

You folks have a fabulous day and I will work on my tough mudder post so it will finally download. Ugh technology, you drive me crazy sometimes.

 

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The big weekend is nearly here

Day 4 of the challenge was okay.  I ended up eating at Subway and having a sandwich instead of a salad. Then I had half of R's cookie and baked lays.  This normally wouldn't be a huge problem, but since part of the challenge was to eat as clean as possible it meant all the bread and chips were no good. But the rest of the day went pretty good. Today I tried something new for breakfast.  I had seen this recipe for over night oats.  It was okay, but next time I will heat it up before I eat it and use bananas instead of blueberries.

You use a peanut butter jar with basically nothing left in it and add some almond milk, protein powder (I used chocolate Vcore) and some oatmeal. You put it in the fridge the night before and it is ready to eat the next morning. Like I said, I will try this again, but will heat it up and use bananas.

Tomorrow is the big day. I have my Tough Mudder tomorrow morning at 9:40. 

I am excited and a little nervous. My goal is to finish the darn thing and to complete over a majority of the obstacle courses. Oh boy, what did I sign myself up for? 12 miles of hell!! LOL   I am heading out of town tomorrow morning and so it will be a long day. I will do my best to take a bunch of pics, but I won't be able to take my phone on the actual obstacle course so there won't be any action photos. With this said, I will do my best to watch what I eat and the exercise portion will be good, but I can guarantee that I will drink beer on Saturday. Sorry, but that is just the reality. But on Sunday I will be back to finish up the challenge with good eating, exercising and no drinking.

It is cool/cold in KS today, so I think R and I will just hang out this morning.

Which might mean I will be pulling out my hair by the end of the day. I have an interview on Monday and I am really hoping that goes well. I miss working.  It isn't that I don't like staying home with R, because I do. I just miss using my brain and being needed for something other than meals, toddler friend, and clean up.  I know that might make me a bad mom, but I just miss working.  Plus the company that I have the interview with is a good company and I could definitely see potential to grow within the company. Which is a good thing because in my last position that was it, I couldn't really go any where else within the company. So if I don't blog on Monday it is because I am running around my house with my head cut off trying to get ready for an interview.

Have a good weekend everyone. Get outside and do something, it looks like it will be a nice weekend for KS folks. I of course will spend most of my day outside on Saturday.  Oh boy, did I ask for you guys to wish me luck?!?!?

My review on cauliflower pizza

Day 2 of my challenge was MUCH better. I did get on the scale again and things are starting to look better, but I am not going to tell you what it says until next Monday. I will say this, I have been having 2 snacks in the afternoon and that seems to be helping and I am drinking more water which makes snacking on crappy things a lot easier to pass up.

I tried something new last night. Have you guys seen recipes like this on pinterest?

Well I gave it a try and this is how my looked like.

I added turkey pepperoni and to be honest that was the best part of this recipe. I DID NOT LIKE IT! I ate the little bit that was missing from this picture and that was all I could stomach. How you tried a similar recipe and did you have better luck than me?

I think I will try another recipe, but it might be a while before I give it a try again. I was pretty disappointed with this one and last night I was starving. I was up at 1:00 telling myself that I was not hungry and didn't need to eat anything. It was a rough night.

 

So then this morning I tried this

It is pretty good. I was nervous about heating up almond milk (I have never done that before) and I have to be honest, it is pretty tasty. It isn't as yummy as coffee with pumpkin creamer (which is something I really miss), but it is better than coffee with almond milk and stevia. It does have some sugar in it so I don't know how clean it really is, so I am sure it is something I will have when I am really craving something different.

In other news, I decided to sign up for a 60 day challenge. I am really enjoying the 7 day challenge so I thought a 60 day challenge is a good way to keep this going. It will start on the 23rd (Monday) which is a day after my 7 day challenge ends. If you are interested in doing this with me then you can sign up on Thread Eleven's Facebook page Here. It will cost you $20 and you are responsible for taking your own before and after pictures. Go take a look at it. At the end, people will vote and who ever gets the most votes win and they win some $$$$. I am not doing it for the money, I just need something to keep me accountable.

That is all I got for you y'all today. I will be back on Friday. Have a great hump day.

You aren't tired of that camel, are ya??? Lol

 

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Fun challenges

Yep it is Tuesday and I am just now blogging. Oh well.

On Sunday evening I decided to join a 7 day challenge. It started on Monday. This awesome lady named Christie started the whole thing and there is no money up for grabs or a prize (unless you count your health as a prize, which I do depending on the day, lol) I almost didn't do the challenge. I have been in this funk and I thought if I fail another thing I am going to be on the verge of quitting everything. I didn't know if I cold handle another set back. Then I saw all this people joining and not only where they joining they were excited. So then I thought, this is only for 7 days. I know how to eat clean and I can exercise every day for 7 days, I CAN DO THIS. So here I am!

I weighed myself and I had gained even more weight, ugh. My challenge start weight was 172.2. Not a great number folks, I am so over the 170's. Done. Over it. Adios 170's. So this challenge really did come at the right time. So how did my Monday go? Well I had oatmeal for breakfast, then I had carrots and hummus ( btw, I am in love with the spicy 3 pepper hummus from Atheno, so freaking yummy and I am not a hummus fan), for lunch I had taco meat and a garden salad, for snack I had a quest bar, and second snack I had pineapple yogurt, and last but not least for dinner I had tator tot casserole with green beans. I didn't do so hot with the tator tot casserole but everything else was good! Not too bad for my first day. Oh and I went to Cardio kicks at the gym and that class kicked my butt. Whew, I forgot how much of a workout that was. I will be going again! So not too shabby for a Monday and a first day of a challenge.

Today I have a few other meals up my sleeve that I really want to try. If I get to them I will let you know how they turned out.

On Saturday I have my tough mudder. Insert, eeeeeccccckkkk face. But I don't think I am near as nervous as I was for my warrior dash. Why? Because I know I don't have to be a bad ass and to be honest there is NO WAY FOR ME TO BE A BAD ASS. Lol. I had so much fun doing the warrior dash that it didn't really matter what my time was. The weather should be great for this event; it will be a great workout; and I will get to see my cousins. All in all, this weekend can't go wrong. I am excited for Saturday to get here!!

Anyone else going on Saturday? Would love to meet up with some of ya if you are going to be there.

 

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Pity party for one please

Today felt like another failure day and I was really trying to figure what the hell was going on. I had zero motivation to do anything and I was freaking exhausted. I could feel this depression hanging over me and there was nothing I could tell myself to snap out of it. And so I was feeling even worse. So I was going to write this post about how some days are just bad days and there is NOTHING you can do about it but feel blue. But then I got into bed and decided I would catch up on some blogs that I haven't read in a while and I realized that I couldn't pull myself out this funk, but that some pretty awesome ladies could. One of the first ones I read was mama laughlins, her blog was one of the first ones I started reading on a regular basis. The post that got to me was this one Here. It is about this family with a great outlook on their 7 month old's terminal illness. It is sooooo upbeat and beautiful. I honestly think it is one of the most inspirational things I have read in a LONG time. It will make you think about your outlook on life after you read it.

The other post I read that made me take a step back was from First Name Smith, Here. She is pregnant with twin and she talks about how they (she) is adjusting to the idea of having twins, but that she also had a miscarriage with their first pregnancy. She also talks about how a mother falls in love with her child as soon as she knows she is pregnant and I couldn't agree more with how she explains how you become a mother at that moment.

With all of this said does this mean my life is going to change over night because I read these post? nope. Do I still feel like a failed blogger? kinda. Does this mean I expect all of you to smile like there are rainbows flowing out of your butt? Uhhhhh, NO! What I got out of tonight was that I can and should get inspired from other people. I can't always rely on myself to pull myself out of my weird funks. But I also can't rely strictly on other people either. There needs to be a balance and I realized that tonight.

I also realized that I am not the best blogger in the world, but that is okay. I want to be positive with you all and that can't always be the case. I am going to have crappy days, but that is alright and I just might have to blog about it. Lol either way, I am not perfect (something I am always so annoyed with) and I need to stop expecting myself to be perfect. It is NEVER going to happen.

How about you guys, what do you do for a quick pick me up? Me, I like food. Hey, this is me being hones here. .But it never seems to work like I think it will. Because later on I just feel guilty for eating crap.

So today (i wrote the first part of the blog last night and the second half this morning) is weigh in Friday and the magic number is 171. Womp Womp. But I think I needed to see this number. I haven't seen anything above 170 in a long time. It made me realize that a lot of things are out of whack and the only way I am going to see the results I want to see is for ME TO MAKE SOME CHANGES. So I am re-dedicating myself to achieving my goals. First goal is to lose 5 pounds this month. But ultimately I would like to see the 140's and if that means 149 then that is fine, but I freaking want to see a 1-4-and some other random number on that darn scale and before 1-1-2014 I will see that number!!!

Wel that is it for me. You can give that pity party table to someone else because this pity party has left the building. Have a good weekend and I will be back next week!!

 

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Change and faith

So I was all ready to write a post about some of my struggles, but then I came home from the gym to one of the funniest things. Tonight (yes I am writing on a Monday night and will probably post this Tuesday morning) I went to the gym while Jed was putting Reid to bed. I got to the gym about 9:00 and got home around 10:30. I saw that Jed was out in the barn so I went and chit chatted him up for a bit and then I headed for the house. I slid opened the door to find my almost 3 year old standing on a chair right next to the refrigerator. He said he was thirsty and he must have been really thirsty because there was water ALL OVER THE FLOOR and as he is telling me this, he is still holding the button down with it completely missing the cup. Oh boy. Then I look on the floor and find 5 tomatoes from our garden on the floor in a perfect line, from smallest to biggest. So I grab some towels and start cleaning up and laugh at the same time. R is still awake at this time and I could not even be mad at him. I know that I should,but it was just too funny. Of course my dog Sahara has her head down over in the corner, she knew R wasn't suppose to be doing this and she felt like she was going to be in trouble. It was all too funny. So the moral of this story is that when you think your almost 3 year old is asleep in bed, you better double check before you head out to the barn. Or God gives you a good laugh when you need one! I could take this and turn it negative and say, "crap I can't even go to the gym without the shit hitting the fan" but I am not going to go there. It was a funny evening and I am going to leave it at that.

Change has really been hard for me lately. I can't seem to get into a schedule and I NEED routine. I have found myself getting down on myself lately and not just about getting to the gym, but everything. I still have mommy guilt, I feel like i am still not doing enough for R. And I am not getting near as much done around the house like I thought I would, ugh this really irritates me. And now R HATES the gym and finding time to get there has been a huge struggle. Plus I still don't have a job. I know there are bigger problems out there, but these are mine right now. I am not asking for sympathy, I am just simply stating some things that are going on in my life. I wish I could be a laid back mom and not worry about every little thing, but I do. I wonder where my future lies and what I will be doing 6 months from now. Who freaking knows and maybe that is the scariest part of all of this. Before when I had my job I knew exactly what was going to happen from day to day and now I don't.

So I had this long talk with God today in the midst of a huge anxiety attack and all that kept coming to me was, Faith. So that is what I am going to work on. I need to have Faith that this will all work itself out. I will work on the things that I can control, but the rest of it is in God's hands. People this is NOT easy for me, but I know it is necessary.

What are you struggling with? And for the love of God, does this mommy guilt ever go away?

I thought this one was too funny to not share!!

 

And the winner is this one. I love this ecard!!!!

 

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Weigh in Friday

Well I just got on the scale and the magic number is 169.6. Not the worst number in the world, but it does mean that I have gained some weight since June/July.

On Wednesday I went back to one of my favorite classes at the gym and I am still sore today. It just goes to say that I am not doing as well as I was mid summer. Oh well, what can I do about it now other the. Get my butt in the gym more often. Today I think I will go to the gym and then tonight I have softball. But I also want to hit the gym sometime during the weekend, the weekend is my arch nemesis. During the weekend I eat worse than normal and I also don't exercise as much, but I am hoping during September I can break that habit!

This is what my running route looks like. These gravel roads are so much harder to run on than paved roads, but to be honest I LOVE my running route. It is quiet and so pretty, I find peace out there running.

I have also logged my food for the last 3 days and it is getting better. I usually do really good all day and then supper is usually not so great, but I am eating less dinner. Normally I would have seconds but lately I have not and I watch my portion sizes. I guess that is a move in the right direction, but I would like it to be better. Are you logging your food, does it help???

Also, what do you take for a snack on the run? My favorite snack is yogurt so that doesn't really work for a snack on the run. Do you use a protein bar or something that doesn't need to be refrigerator? When R and I go somewhere in the morning I have a hard time having a snack and by lunch i start to feel sick and I know it is because I NEED that mid morning snack. What works for you?

Well that is all I got for you this week. I will be back on Monday, I might actually get 3 posts next week. WHOA!!!! Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Lol have a good weekend folks!

This is R's favorite buddy at the library. A wooden dog sculpture! He is such a goofball!

 

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First post of September

Well it has been awhile yet again. I have yet to get into a blogging schedule since I got laid off.

Yesterday I finally logged all my food into MFP and let me tell you, it wasn't pretty.

Yeah I went over my calorie count A LOT! But yesterday was justo a bad day. I started off good, but then I had to take R to the doctor because he has had a cough for about 3 weeks now and it wasn't getting any better. The poor kid had to sit in that little doctor's room for an hour and then we had to go to the pharmacy and hang out there for about another hour. He just couldn't sit still at either place and I was about to pull out my hair. Plus I didn't bring a snack for myself so by the time we left the doctor's office i was starving and ending up going to the nearest place (Sonic) and getting a small shake and mozzarella sticks. Not the best food choices. Ohhhhh and the doctor basically thinks that R has allergies and that we might need to have further surgeries done to fully help him. Not what I wanted to hear!!!

But on some positive notes I have been running. On Friday I did this

I ran almost 3.5 miles when my goal was 3 miles. And I ran in the morning. It was nice because the weather was beautiful and wasn't a million degrees outside. And as it usually happens my right shoe laces came unlaced and I ran with it like that for about 2.5 miles. But I did get to see that beautiful sunrise like I have been trying to see all year!

Then on Monday I ran again,but it was only 3 miles. And that run was a struggle. I wanted to stop at half a mile but I knew that I needed to keep going. I can definitely tell a diffence in my running since I haven't been going to gym to lift weights. I feel much Weaker now than I did at the beginning of June/July. So my goal is to get back into the gym again. The only problem I have right now is that R refuses to go to their daycare. At first he would sprint into the nursery, but now he freaks out at the sight of the gym. I am not sure what happened. I am going to try again this week, but I may have to start going in the evening after Jed gets off of work. Not the worst thing, but I would rather go during the day. I don't really like waiting all day to get my work out done, but that might be the only way for me to get there.

So my goal for September is to lose 5 pounds, stay on my half marathon training, log my food into MFP, and get my butt to the gym for some weight lifting. I think this is doable. I think I will start posting my weight every Friday again too. To be completely honest I haven't been on the scale much lately, I simply have been forgetting. But I also know that I haven't been eating all that well and some of that is because I haven't seen the scale go up and up like I normally do when I was weigh myself EVERDAY!

So what are your September goals? Who wants to start weighing in on Fridays with me?

 

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