HELLO!!!! IT IS A BEAUTIFUL MONDAY!!! Oh you aren't having a wonderful Monday, Crap, I am sorry.  But to be honest I am having a stellar Monday, why you ask?? Because I am still on a super high from my Warrior Dash on Saturday.  Seriously people I had soooooo much fun.

This is what I looked like before the Dash, I was stupid nervous at this point. 

Okay let me start at the beginning. Friday night started out okay, I played 2 games of softball.  We lost the first game and won the second one. My heart wasn't in it. I am not really sure why, but I just felt blah. But anyways I played and then immediately I headed home after the game and started to pack for my weekend in Kansas City. This is when the nerves started to kick in. And to be completely honest I wasn't worried about the Dash, I was worried about getting to my meeting point in time to hook up with my friend Caite. We decided to meet at 8:30 in a town outside of KC. Well that is about a 3 hour trip for me and I was super scared I wouldn't hear my alarm clock and be late. I got about 3-4 hours of sleep that night, I was so nervous about making it there in time. BTW I was 15 minutes early. LOL This pic was taken while I was waiting for Caite and I was finally getting nervous about the actual Dash. 

So Caite met up with me and we drove the rest of the way together (because parking was $10 per vehicle, carpool people!!). Once we got there we both started to get nervous, oh did I mention that it was only 48 degrees outside too! So we were cold as well. We park and walk our butts the mile (it probably wasn't that far away, but it felt like it) to the Dash. As we get closer my heart started to beat faster and faster. We check in and we checked our bags in (which was good because I was worried someone would steal my phone while we were running) and we got ready!!! 

Pre-Dash pic. I was trying to be tough, but I started laughing mid pic!! LOL yeah I am a goof ball. 

We got all of this done at 9:45ish.  We wanted to run at 10:00 so we got ourselves pumped and walked to the starting line. It was crazy and my nerves were at an all time high. Plus it was freaking cold. By the time we got up there it was time to go. And we were off!!! :)

IT WAS AWESOME PEOPLE!! I had so much fun. It was cold and I wasn't in the best shape of my life, but it was still so much fun. I will say that Caite and I ran the whole thing and we did EVERY obstacle. Honestly the hardest part was the first part, the running.  I think we ran 3/4 a mile or so before we got to the first obstacle.  I was so nervous about the obstacles that I was pretty tired by the time I got to the first one!! But I didn't walk. Once the obstacles started it was all downhill from there. It was so much fun people, I can't tell you that enough. I even got my fat butt over the wall BY MYSELF!! Okay the wall wasn't very high, maybe 3 feet tall or 3.5 feet. I don't know but I made it. 

So what is my advice for future Dashers. Well let me make you a list :)

1. HAVE FUN!! Don't take it serious, just go and enjoy everything/everyone around you. 

2. Take a friend/team. I couldn't have ask for a better Dash partner.  We ran at the same pace and push each other through the obstacles 

3. Don't take a bag that you don't want to get dirty.  Even in the waiting area it was stupid muddy (it had been raining the day before and all that morning, so other Dashes may not be so muddy, but I am guessing that it is).

4. YOU CAN RACE IN ANY WAVE!! There is no one checking your wave time once you get in line. Go at any time, if you really wanted to you could do it more than once!! :)

5. Make sure you get there at least an hour before the wave you want to run in. It takes time to check in and get your crap together. 

6. Enjoy your time after the Dash.  If I could do it again, I wouldn't try to do anything after the Dash.  The place was so much fun you don't need to schedule anything afterwards. 

7. Wear shoes you want to throw away.  We donated ours after we ran. They were asking for them and I am not 100% what they did with them.  They were going to grind them up and use them for something. Either way, you don't want to wear those shoes again any ways. 

8. Bring another set of clothing to change into.  This was a GREAT idea.  We changed after we took pictures and enjoyed our food and beer in nice warm clothing. 

That is about all I have for you.  If you get the chance to do a Warrior Dash please take the opportunity.  I don't care if you are out of shape, just do it! You can walk if you want and go around obstacles if you find them too difficult, but if you take your time I think all the obstacles are do-able for everyone. I am so glad I did this race and I am so glad Caite did it with me. THANK YOU CAITE!! Also, I told Caite she could pick the next event we do together because I picked the last 2, I will keep my word!! Whatever she picks, I will be there!! 

That is all I got for you folks.  Tomorrow or Wednesday I will chat about the baseball game. WHAT A GREAT WEEKEND!! I mean I can't even fit it all in one post!! :) HAVE A GOOD WEEK EVERYONE!

Mommy guilt

So today I am going to talk about something that has been on my mind all this week and to be honest on my mind since I started going to the gym. The dreaded Mommy guilt. You all know that I am going to do the Warrior Dash this weekend and then watch the Royals game afterwards which means I will stay the night in KC and come back on Sunday morning. Well this is hard for me. I have a softball game tonight (if it doesn't get rained out) and that means I won't get home until after 8:30 tonight and then I won't see R at all tomorrow because I am leaving before he will wake up :( So today my heart just felt heavy and sad. R and I were sitting on the couch watching Chuggington (Cartoon about trains) and I felt sad because I wouldn't get the chance to cuddle with him tomorrow morning which is our normal routine on Saturday mornings. It isn't like I haven't been away from him before but it feels like since February that we have been so busy that I haven't stopped to smell the roses with R. Last week we went to the sand dunes and R stayed with my parents.  This weekend he will be with Jed and then the following weekend he will go back to Grandma's house because I am running the Color me Rad 5K and then I have our end of the season softball tournament on Sunday. You guys this is too much. It is making me sad. I know that I need ME time, but this might be too much. So after the Color me Rad 5K I am going to slow down a bit. I honestly think I am going to stop playing softball and just focus on eating healthier and working out instead of trying to fit EVERYTHING in.

This is how I feel when I plan too much shit!! This is not a pic of me btw. 

How do you handle mommy guilt? Do you have it?? Uggg, I feel like it is the worst right now. I won't give up the gym, but I know that I need to slow down.  Softball is hard to give up, but that is something you have to commit to EVERY Friday.  In the past years that wasn't so hard because that was the only night I would allow for ME. But now there is so much going on that doesn't involve R or Jed and I think I need to give up something. I will still sub for them which means I will still get to play from time to time, but not every Friday all Spring, summer and fall. And I am going to slow down on the 5K events as well.  I might just sign up for one event each month from here on out. I get so excited to do things when people ask me and then once that month rolls around and I see our calendar I FREAK out. How did I sign myself up for all this?? PLEASE DON'T STOP ASKING ME TO PARTICIPATE IN EVENTS, but just don't be surprised if I say no or consult my calendar before I yell yes!! LOL . I like being busy, but not to the point where I miss my kid.

I mean wouldn't you want to spend more time with that child?? 

I know this is suppose to be a fitness blog, but I also know that I am NOT the only mom worry about this while she is trying to get fit. It is hard to balance my time between being a mom, wife, employee, friend, family member, and MYSELF! But right now things feel a little out of balance. I know tomorrow I will have a blast, but in the back of my mind I will constantly be asking, I wonder what R and Jed are doing?? What are they eating for lunch/dinner? I hope they are having fun!  I hope R is behaving for his dad! Things like that. I know it is good for them to have father-son time, but it hard at the same time to know they are hanging out together with out me. I guess you can't have your cake and eat it too.

I realize that this is ALL normal. And that this isn't how it is always going to be. I know it is okay for me to be gone this weekend and Jed doesn't seem to mind at all. He has been gone on the weekends while R and I stay home, but it is odd for me to be away from both of them.  I guess I always thought if I wasn't with R then I should be with Jed. I have told people this before, but I am the most comfortable when Jed is around. Don't ask me why, Jed drives me bat shit crazy sometimes, but there is something there that I find comfort in. As long as I have him by my side then I can get through anything. So it makes me a little sad that he won't be at the Dash to support me, but I also realize that I need to stand on my own 2 feet. I have been with Jed since HIGH SCHOOL, that is a FREAKING long time. And I wouldn't change that for the world, but I also rely on him so much.  I need to do somethings on my own. This weekend is one of those things. I also need to voice my opinion about hobbies that I like. Since high school I tagged along with Jed and his friends and let me tell you, we have some AWESOME memories, but with that said I didn't always participate in the things I WANTED to do because I knew that Jed would either be bored or wouldn't participate in them. I always thought I did that because I was being a good girlfriend or wife, but now I realize I was doing that because I was scared. What if what I WANTED was boring or too hard or not possible. Did that mean I was boring or too weak? Sorry I got a little too deep. But do you see where I am going with this? Even though being away from R and Jed will be hard this weekend, I know this is something I NEED to do. I NEED to stand on my own 2 feet!! Where better to do this than a freaking Warrior Dash, LOL.

I like this one because we are being goofy, which is typically how we normally are unless I am rolling my eyes at him and he is irritated at me!! LOL

These are some of my favorite pics taken of Jed and I. Of course these were ALL taken before we had R. We might need to take some more of just the 2 of us!! 

That is it from me today.  Go have a GREAT weekend. Go do something for yourself and enjoy finding a little bit more about how strong you are as a person and not as a mom, husband/wife, family member or employee!!

Craziness and Kindness

I want to say THANK YOU to everyone for all the kind words you shared with me yesterday. Abby was an amazing person and I am sure she is an amazing angel. I thought about writing about my angel babies today, but it isn't the day for that. I will know when the day is right for that post just like I did with Abby's post. Yesterday I had 121 views and normally I have about 30-40 views, so thank you for reading.  I was pretty surprised when I saw that number, that is CRAZY!! And the kindness comes from the nice things you gals/guys said. I do want to add that I know I left out some people that surrounded Abby during her year of cancer and I am sorry for that.  All I can say is that Abby had some AMAZING friends and family. The strength that I witnessed was incredible. You all were incredible!!!

Today is going to be much lighter than yesterday so put away the tissues. I will admit that I used a few yesterday, all your comments really touched my heart. But enough of that, the sun is shining and Abby wants us to be happy, so that is what this post will be about.

Did I mention that I have this, this weekend.

Yeah this is the weekend I participate in my first Warrior Dash, I say first because I have a feeling I will be doing more :) Am I ready?? Ummm probably not.  Am I scared?? A little. Am I excited? Heck yeah! Who is participating with me? My awesome friend Caite, she ran with me in the 5K earlier this month. She is truly awesome!!! Am I going to stress out about this as much as the 5K? Um no. Why? Well because I was so darn nervous about the 5K that it took away from some of the excitement of the day and I don't want to do that with this. I am looking forward to getting muddy and making a fool out of myself.

I also have this to look forward to afterwards:

Yeah baby!! I heart beer! I honestly do. Not only will I get to have some much deserved beer with my friend Caite, but then after we depart the Warrior Dash area, I will be heading to this awesome place:

I get to go to a Royal's game after the Dash.  I am so excited!!! I have never been to a Royal's game before and each year I say that I am going to go, but it doesn't happen.  Well NOT this year suckers, I am freaking going!! And I am going with some awesome people as well.  So I am over the moon about this weekend. The only down fall of this weekend is that baby R and Jed won't be there, but they need some father-son bonding time and momma needs this weekend to be ME! The things I have planned this weekend are things that JESSICA likes to do.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to go to the Sand dunes, but that is something I got into because of Jed.  Sports and playing in the mud is something I have always like to do, so it will be nice to do these things again and not worry about Jed being bored. Plus this way I can go to a game and see if it is something that Jed might like. I am hoping this is something we can do down the road as well. I am just so excited to get there.  Does anyone know where to find a Royals shirt in Salina?? I don't own one and I am thinking it is about time I got one.

Well folks, that is all I have for you today.  I hope the sun is shining in your direction because I know it feels pretty darn good in our neck of the woods. Once again thank you for all the beautiful comments you made; it  warms my soul to know you all care that much!!

Bad stuff happens

I want to start off this post by saying, there is nothing bad really happening in my life. But that doesn't mean that love ones aren't hurting right now or friends aren't going through a hard time. This is me reflecting on hard times in my life.

Some of you know what hard times I am talking about. Some of the hardest times in my life are dealing with loss. I don't get it, why does God take some of the most special people in our lives? Or why does he cut their lives so short? To this day I don't have the answers to those questions, but I don't dwell on them any more either.

I will give you a little bit more information on the times I am talking about.  The most recent loss in my life is my cousin Abby. My cousin Abby was beautiful, kind, sweet, and a dork. I can say that because we are/were both dorks. And I think people loved that about Abby. She wasn't like a nerd, but she was just funny and goofy and wasn't afraid to show it to people. But one of the best qualities about my cousin was that she loved with her whole heart. I really don't have anything bad to say about her and I am really trying to come up with something, maybe she had some annoying habits that I didn't know.  You would have to talk to her husband about that!! Abby was 21 when we found out she had kidney cancer. She was also about a month away from her wedding when she got the news. It was devastating. I remember crying at my desk at work when I got the news. I mean, it was Abby, she wasn't suppose to have Cancer and who gets cancer at 21? They said she needed to have her kidney removed right away and once that would happen they would either hope that the surgery would take care of it or they could see if it spread. We all prayed that she would have her kidney removed and that would be the end of this cancer business. That wasn't the case. They removed the kidney and once they were in there they could see that it had spread.  They took what they could at that moment, but they knew she would need further surgery and treatment. I don't know about the rest of my family members but I immediately got on my computer and start googling kidney cancer. Now some people want to know head on what they are facing and this is how I am, but at this particular moment, I should have waited or just not done it. I lost most of my faith in the whole process and I immediately thought the worst. I never told anyone this, but I thought she was fighting a losing battle at this point. I continued to pray and my heart wanted her to survive, but my brain was telling me to prepare for the worst. This was dumb!! I wish I could go back and tell my brain to shut the eff up! There is NO REASON why my cousin Abby couldn't have received a miracle and I should have thought that from the get go. I eventually got on board with that thought process but it took me a while.

My cousin Abby fought a hard battle and she lost.  She died pretty much a year after she found out about her cancer. It hurt, it hurt bad. I still get tears in my eyes as I write this. I wish this story had a better ending, but it simply doesn't. But what I can say is that there was SOME positive things that came out of this HORRIBLE situation. There are so many good people out there and those good people will stop and pray for you even though they don't know you. And when I say pray, they pray every stinking day for you and your loved ones.  I can now look back and see how AMAZING that is. Another positive outcome is the fact that I believe it brought my family closer to one another in some form or another. We had our arguments (disagreements might be a better word) that is for sure and we all had our doubts about what was best for Abby. But in the end, we were all hurting and could relate to one another. I saw such strength in Abby's mom and her sister. Abby's parents spent a LOT of time with her in the hospital and at a certain point Abby's mom took a leave of absence from her job to be with Abby 24/7. Abby's sister was a stay at home mom and she spent a lot of time away from her husband and child at times to be with Abby. Speaking of Abby's niece, the community also helped with her too and she loved it.  Ella (Abby's niece) got to meet some really special people in Abby's life. It is amazing how a small community can pull together to help one girl and her family. Those are the moments I try to focus on.

Some of you are going to ask, did she get married?  And yes she did, she looked beautiful on that day too. She was truly STUNNING! She got married about 2 weeks after her kidney surgery and they went ahead with the wedding they were planning on before she knew she had cancer. Abby was tired and sore at times, but she did amazing. It was a very special day. She married a very special man too.  To this day he still comes to some of our family events even though I know it can be painful for him. That boy (I call him a boy because he is younger than me, LOL) is so special to me as well. He has a big heart and gave Abby the best wedding day possible. He loved her and anyone around them knew this. They didn't get to have the typical newly wed year, but they had their good moments too. I know he holds those moments close to his heart. But what I loved about them is that Abby would still get annoyed with her husband. It was funny to watch them at times, but it also broke my heart at times too. How do you handle this in your early 20's? They did the best they could do!

So what did I learn from all of this?
1. Cancer sucks!
2. prayer is helpful and powerful
3. God has some kind of CRAZY plan for all of us
4. I personally can't dwell on the pain forever.
5. crying isn't a bad thing
6. Life can be over before you know it
7. Family can't be replaced
8 Good friends are needed for the good times and the bad times in your life
9. Laugh with your friends/family even during hard times
10. Miracles can happen

That last one is hard to think about. We didn't get the Miracle we were praying for, well I didn't get the Miracle I was praying for. But I know one occurred during Abby's passing. She went to heaven. I wanted her to stay here with us, but God NEEDED her. I just know that she is up there with all the children and animals in heaven. I don't tell myself that to make myself feel better, it is just something I feel. At one point during Abby's stay at a hospital she told my mother that she held my nephew (who was not born yet).  My mom then told me this and said that she believes that Abby wasn't holding my nephew, but that maybe she was holding my angel baby. See I had 2 miscarriages before I had R (I will write about that in another post.) and when my mom mentioned this to me, I knew she was right. After Abby went to heaven I was a little bit jealous, I knew she would be hugging my 2 angel babies before me. This still makes me cry. I can't hold the tears back when I think about this.It just gets to me. I want to Hug those babies so bad, but I know that time will come when that it is meant to be.  For now I have R's arms to worry about.

For those that are going through a hard time RIGHT now, hold on and breathe.  With time things will be a little bit better with each passing day.  Then one day it will be hard again and it will go back and forth for a while, but just know that there are SOME good things happening around you.  You may not be able to see it right now, but they are there. If you can see the good, then hold on to it and don't let go. For others it may take a LONG time to see the good, but eventually you will see it.  It won't replace the bad, the bad will always be there and it will always hurt, but the good makes it hurt not so much. The good gives you something to grin about or laugh about.

Well folks I am sorry for the novel, but this is a post I have been trying to write since I started my blog and it never came out right.  I still don't know if it is right, but it is the best I can do right now. I love my family and friends and thank you for helping me through such a hard time in my life. If you ever need someone to talk to you please know I am available.  I know that doesn't seem like much, but I owe a lot of thank yous to people who listened to me cry and complain. Talking can help. You are never alone in what ever battle you are battling unless you keep it to yourself and PLEASE don't do that.If there is anything that I learned it is that people want to help or have been in a similar situation. Take care everyone and remember the good things/people in your life!!

Abby I love you and I miss you like crazy!! Give those babies a hug for me! Put a good word in for me with the Big Guy!! 

We made it another week!!

It is Friday Bitches!!

Sorry for the F bomb, but it isn't the same without it. I will probably look like this on Monday:

 But that is okay, it will give me something to do ;)

I weighed myself this morning and it was the exact same as 2 weeks ago.  I should be pissed, but to be honest I freaking happy.  I ate like a garbage can this week. Anything I saw, I ate it! Seriously, I am not exaggerating. But yesterday I finally practiced some self control and did alright.

This is a taco salad made with turkey meat and black beans and corn, it was freaking good. No salad dressing needed. 

  I also joined the new gym yesterday and got my arse on a treadmill and elliptical.  Today I got my lazy arse up and went to group power (lifting class) and did a pretty good workout.  So things are looking up. Maybe that is why I am in such a good mood.

This was actually taken after the class, but the clock is an hour slow, so I thought it would still get the point across. LOL 

I did not work out Monday thru Wednesday (BOO!!), but I had a kidney infection and I felt like crap. My back was killing me and I was freaking tired so I didn't work out. And I wish I could say that I got a lot done in the house, but I didn't. Double BOO!! But by Thursday I knew that I needed to do SOMETHING.  So I got on that dreadmill and knocked out a mile (without my shin tape) and then did some work on the elliptical, I know that isn't the hardest workout, but it was a good way to ease back into it. Then this morning I got my butt kicked in group power, well actually it is getting better. So hopefully I won't be sore this weekend while we are at the Sand Dunes. We are going without R this weekend and I am looking forward to a little kid free time. Although as soon as tomorrow hits I will be sad and bored. I am always like that, but I know it is good for us. But to be honest I am ready to not ask my kid a million times if he has to go potty or to get out of something that he is not suppose to be in or threatening someone to go into time out. UGGGG that kid is a handful these days. Terrible twos are NOT fun and I keep hearing the third year isn't any better.

But that is what I got for you folks today. Oh I did try to curl my hair today, what do you think?

Yeah that is me in my robe. Sexy!?!?!? LOL you are suppose to be looking at my hair, gosh!!

Have a good weekend! We should as long as the weather stays decent. No more of this crap:

That is an ice covered bush. UGGG I am DONE with winter. 

Finish the Sentence linkup

Today I am doing a link up with Jake and Holly.  Go check out their blogs they are both really funny. Holly is super sweet. I have not met this person but it is a blog that I read everyday.
 

 

1. I laughed so hard I cried when... I watched Anchor man for the first time and Jack Black dropped kicked Baxter off the bridge.  Jed and I had to go back to that scene like 5 times. It was just too funny. Baxter this burrito is so filling! LOL

 

 

2. My high school...years were awesome. Honestly I have nothing bad to say about high school.  I wasn't popular, but I wasn't hated by people either. So all in all, it was a good experience. It might have something to do with the fact that I met my husband in high school, I know lame!

 

3. It really pisses me off... when people don't know how to drive correctly, but they are behind the wheel.  I get that old people like to drive slow, but hurry the eff up. I don't have time for your slow arse. Seriously!

 

 

 

4. In ten years...I will be 41 effing years old. And a millionaire. End of story!  

 

5. If I could erase one thing... some poor decisions in College.  Like drinking so much I think I have alcohol poisoning and calling my mom and explaining to her that I have alcohol poisoning and my roommates are the worst people in the world for not taking me to the hospital. MOM I'M SO SORRY! And roommates, Thank you for NOT taking me to the hospital. Yeah I have been known to be the drama queen drunk :( I can't be perfect all the time ;)

 

6. In 1999...  I was a Junior in high school probably hanging out in Jed's garage watching him fix his dirt bike again for the millionth time.

7. Honestly...why can't everyone get along.  Seriously, it isn't THAT hard. shut your mouth and just be nice. And stop bombing the crap out of one another. Seriously, that isn't cool. No one thinks you are hot shit for doing that. Be a man/woman and confront your issues and stop hiding behind wrong doings.

8. To me, Sushi... is okay.  But I live in KS, so what the hell do I know. I haven't had the "good stuff" yet. and by good stuff I mean the really fresh sushi that melts in your mouth stuff.

 

 

 

9. Someone really needs to invent... something that will make me look like a Jessica Alba. Isn't she pretty, sexy, and elegant?

 

 

10. The first time I drank alcohol... I was in high school (I know I am a horrible person) and we were at a party (isn't this every one's story) and I had planned on NOT drinking, but we were all around a table and people were taking shots. Well curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to see what the big deal was. So I took one, BIG mistake, it was DELICIOUS!! So of course I wanted another one and another one. Well I thought I was a bad A$s because I wasn't feeling a darn thing until I stood up and BAM, I was hammered.  Oh did I mention the cops showed up and I had to walk back into town which was about 5 miles in the cold!! Also did I tell you that I tripped over a limestone fence.  Yeah my shins had bruises on them for about 5 days. And that a certain someone tripped over said fence before me and I laughed and immediately did the same thing. What a DUM DUM!

 

11. The one question I would ask God is... .Why isn't it acceptable to drink wine/beer at work? Come on, it would seriously make things more interesting. Okay Okay on a serious note, I would ask him to say hello to some VERY special people up there: my 2 angel babies, my awesome 22 year old cousin, and some close friends who passed too early.

 12. Lindsay Lohan... Can I trade her for one of the people on the list above, she isn't appreciating her life here on Earth, so I think one of those special people should be able to take her place. GROW UP LINDSAY!!


Questionaire

I thought I would do one of those questionnaires that use to be sent through e-mails. I think there are some new people reading my blog (i might be crazy for thinking this!!) and so this might be a good way for them to get to know me. This also might be a waste of time, LOL.

1. What time did you go to bed last night and were you alone? It was about 11:15 and I was the only one in the bed until 2:00 ish, that is when the hubby came to bed.  Yeah I know he is CRAZY for staying up that late, but he doesn't listen to me.

2. If you could be given ANY gift what would it be? A beach vacation.  I have never really been to the beach and I really want to go and soak up some rays!! This weather is making me want it more and more!

3. What was the last film that really moved/disturbed/thrilled you and why?Oh boy, this is a hard one.  I watch really crappy movies, but one that really gets to my soul is PS I love you.  I know cheesy right, but it gets me thinking about "what would I do?" You know, crap like that.

4. What is your favourite TV show of all time, you've seen them all, can watch it over and over again and quote lines from it? Oh man, another hard one. I think TV show of all time is Arrested Development OR The Walking Dead. And yes I can watch them over and over again and I quote lines from AD all the time. "ugg, you are still doing that?" Referring to George Micheal Jr. hunching over from a broom being tossed at him. Seriously you aren't going to get it unless you watch it. Or"that is why you don't leave the door open when the A/C is on." Lessons by George Michael Sr. LOL

5. Whats your favourite way to wake up and whats the first thing you do? Waking up to R jumping in our bed is pretty awesome, but only when it is after 7:00. :) And the first thing I do is jump into the shower if it is a week day on the weekend I go cuddle with R.

6. What would you call yourself if you could choose your own name? I would have to say Jessica, after all these years I have been attached to the name Jessica.

7. If you had to do a bushtucker challenge (you have to eat insects/grubs etc) what would be the worst thing you had to eat? Spiders.  I don't do Spiders.

8. Whats the worst/most embarrassing CD/Album you've ever owned and do you still have it? Now that's what you call music. and it was really crappy pop music. I am sure it is hanging around somewhere.

9. what would be your dream vehicle (bikes, cars, boats, and millennium falcon is allowed!)?Don't laugh, but it would be a Honda Odyssey Mini Van.  I think those things are AWESOME!!

10. Whats your favourite fantasy people sand which?Ohh this one took me a while to figure out what they were asking. I think I would pick the main character from Thor and Travis Pastrana. (Travis isn't the hottest thing, but he is funny and does some pretty cool things). Oh and if I could add another person it would be Marshall from How I Met Your Mother. I think he is hilarious.

11. What characteristics do you dislike in yourself?I hate that I procrastinate, which in turn makes me late for everything. I wish I could be more organized.

12. Your favourite item of clothing and why?Some jeans from AE.  They are really comfortable and go with anything.

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be and who would it be with?Like i said before, somewhere with a beautiful beach and with my hubby.  It isn't a vacation without him. :)

14. If you could have any animal/creature, What would be your ultimate pet be?Well let me start off with that I have a dog already and her name is Sahara and she is pretty awesome.  She is a yellow lab and we got pretty lucky when we got her. I like REALLY big dogs so if it was up to me, I would get a Great Dane or a Mastiff. Yeah I know, I am crazy!

15. What did you want to be when you were little and do you think you ever will be?This one is funny, I wanted to be the first woman NBA player or the First woman President. And no I will NEVER be either one of those.  There is NO amount of money that would convince me to be the President.

16. Whats the next planned event you're looking to in your life?Well this weekend we are going to Sand Dunes down in Oklahoma.  I am pretty stoked about that.

17. What were you doing before you started this?Shhhhh Working.

18. What was the last thing you ate that you really shouldn't of ?These club house crackers.  I have been eating like a crazy woman lately!

19. If you were an ice cream/haagen daz/Ben and Jerry's flavour what would you be?Vanilla.  I am just a plain Jane girl!

20. Who was the last person you spoke to that you didn't want to talk to?ummm that is hard one. Probably the guy from the new gym I am joining. He called when I was in the middle of something and I thought it was someone important. Seriously I don't have time for that crap.I will call them when I am ready! ugg.

21. What was your favourite toy as a child . . .and now?ummmmm does a basketball count?? Or my bear that I got from my grandpa, his name is JP. And now, probably my phone or the bear that Jed got me in high school or college. His name is Sir Patrick and yep I still sleep with him.

22. When was the last time you cried laughing and why?It is probably at some lame movie and I was supper tired. I get into these laughing fits and I can't stop laughing even when it isn't that funny. Oh man they are pretty funny to watch, Jed gets a good laugh out of those!

23. What is stashed under your bed/mattress? Clothes nothing too exciting.

24. What did you dream about last night?I was running a half marathon with a friend of mine and I beat her and it felt like I only ran a block.  I was a little disappointed when I woke up.

25. What are you really afraid of?Mascots.  They freak me out. I HATE them. Or any costume that you can't see their face/eyes. You just never know who is in those stupid suits. uggg just thinking about scares the pooh out of me.

Well that is all I got for ya today. Sorry, this might have been a lame post.  But now you know a little bit more about me. I didn't have anything exciting to post about anyways. I am going to go sign up for the new gym tonight. I excited to start adding that to my schedule :)

 

Okay I have the Monday blahs.  Once again the weekend came and went.  I had every intention of eating healthy this weekend even with a birthday party on Saturday, but instead I ate whatever I wanted. It really wasn't that bad to be honest.  I had a hamburger, potato salad and a little bit of cheese dip and to finish it all with some birthday cake. But I also drank some wine so it wasn't all that awesome, plus I didn't run at all this weekend which I NEEDED TO.  I have that stinking warrior dash on April 27th.

I have been debating on whether or not to do this sucker. As of yesterday afternoon I really thought about transferring my money to another event.  I running another warrior dash in August in Colorado so I could transfer the money to that event, no big deal.  But I kind of feel like a loser for doing that. This morning I gave it more thought and I think I am just going to do it. I have two friends who are going with other groups that I can run with.  I have time to think about it.  Regardless I need to get my butt on a treadmill this week. This coming weekend we will be at the sand dunes, but I need to take my running gear so I can get a run in as well.  This is one reason I like the app on my phone because I feel like I can run anywhere and get an accurate reading as to how far I ran.

Speaking of running, my friend ran her second half marathon this weekend and she beat her previous time by 6 minutes. That is freaking awesome. She also got 3 in her age range I believe. WAY TO GO DARCY!! I am so proud of her. She is a working mother to a teenager and still has time to run a freaking half marathon. And let me tell you, her teenager is VERY active in baseball and they are barely home on the weekends, so how she has time to run is beyond me. But she is an inspiration.  I can't say that I will run a half marathon, but I am hoping to run further distances in my future :) Plus I have that stinking Tough Mudder to train for which I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO RUN 8 MILES!! I might as well run a half marathon!

I talked to my husband this weekend and I am going to join the new gym, (insert a happy dance by Jordan). Okay I will be doing a happy dance too.  So I think I will try to run by there this afternoon and get that done. I am pretty excited about it. I really like that gym plus it will be nice to go where most of my friends go too. I am telling you, I need the gal time right now.  Boys are driving me crazy, I miss my girlfriends!!

Oh I almost forgot. I want to get my blog pimped by Hubby Jack. He is freaking hilarious (totally makes fun of women's blogs about fitness, but I can't get enough of it!!) and I read his blog every day. But if you vote for me on his blog then I can get my blog pimped for FREE!!! Who doesn't like free??? If you click on his button below it should take you to his blog and his rules for voting for me. All you have to do is follow his blog and vote for me in his comments. Seriously ladies and gents he is funny, I follow him on instagram too and he puts pictures on there that make fun of other people's photos from instagram or blog.  He is sorta like Saturday night live in blog form! It is hard to explain Hubby Jack. At the very least go vote for me and read some of his posts.

Well that is all I have for this boring Monday. Maybe it is the weather, but it just feels like a blah Monday. Maybe it is because I am excited about our trip to the Sand Dunes this weekend. I am so ready for a little break from KS, plus playing in the sand is sooooo much fun. Sand therapy is calling my name!!

link up and other randomness.

 

Well today I got on that stupid scale and it said...................................... 173 so I gained a little weight. SO WHAT. Okay I was a little disappointed to be honest.  I got in my shower feeling a little defeated.  I got out of the shower and was doing my hair when I realized I needed to go to the bathroom. So there you have it. I am saying I weigh the same. No gain.  I am telling you people that potty break had to weigh in somewhere around a pound, right?!?!? Well that is what I am telling myself today because I don't want to fret about a freaking pound. Ain't nobody got time for that.

 

So I tried out the new gym.  I took a group power class (weight lifting class), I ran on a treadmill, and I took a G-cycle class (spin class). And I like it all. I have a very strong feeling that I will be joining this particular gym.  Plus this has something the Y doesn't have and can't offer, 90% of my friends go to this gym.  This may make me a follower, but if I am following these awesome ladies to the gym then so be it. 

 

I also committed myself to this in September:

Have you ever heard of this?? I hadn't until I was asked to participate in it and basically told them yes before I checked it out. It is a 10-12 mile obstacle course. So what are some of the obstacles you ask, well let me start off by saying they don't tell you exactly what will be there until a few weeks before the race.  Why?? Because they want you to train for ALL of them.  Well that is stupid. Anyways here is what they say the 10-12 miles will consist of:

hills

mud

water

ropes

walls

electric shocks

fire

 

 

Yeah you read that right, electric shock and fire.  What the eff!! How the hell do you train for that shit?? Well I better freaking figure it out because I am doing it. I know this may sound stupid, but I am seriously excited about this. I figure if I can train well for this and be prepared for this event then I can basically do WHATEVER I want to do. I mean this would be a HUGE achievement for me. Plus it will push my fat arse even harder.  It is motivating me to really push it. I have done some reading and they say you should be able to run 8 miles before you do this event and you should do okay for the running part.  So I think I can work my way up to 8 miles before September.

 

So yesterday I spent most of the day fretting about this tough mudder event and worried about whether or not I am in over my head.  But then I thought, well crap, my family (cousins) think I can do this so I am pretty sure I can get this done! They wouldn't ask me to do this if they honestly thought I couldn't make it. Plus wouldn't it be awesome to tell Reid about how his mom did this AWESOME obstacle course. So come September this girl will be doing a tough mudder competition. Wish me luck!!

 

With that said, I am taking a day off from the gym and P90X. I have worked out the last 4 nights and tonight is softball and I want to enjoy it. Last week I ran 2 miles before the game and I was just spent. I didn't really enjoy my games.  So tonight I am going to enjoy myself and just play softball.  I may or may not consume a few beers, I think I deserve it.

 

If anyone has some advice on how to train for this sucker please feel free to write it in the comments or facebook me. There is a workout regimen on the website so I might just use that, but I am really open to anything at this point.

 

Have a good weekend everyone. I still need to buy a b-day gift for my nephew, I am such a procrastinator.

 

New gym and classes

Well it is Wednesday (read using Eeyore's voice). Yeah I am effing tired today. And I am freaking sore. I tried a new gym out yesterday.  It is a little nicer than the one I am currently using, but the real reason I wanted to try it out was because of the classes. They are a little different than the ones at the current gym I am at and I thought I would give them a try.  The first class I tried was Group Power and it is a lifting class. In this class you use a bar bell for all the lifting.

Let me first say, I have NEVER used one of these.  I have thought about it, but only recently. And I am going to be COMPLETELY honest with you, I thought I would go into this class and dominate it!! Yep, I thought I would kick it's ass. Why?? Because I'm freaking doing P90X!! I thought I would be a stud and walk away thinking, that's it?? Well folks, I WAS WRONG!! That class kicked my fat booty! UGGGG! So that is why I am sore today.  I know this is a good thing, but man I am getting a little sick of being sore all the time.  When we will I be in good shape and NOT be sore?? Probably never! And yeah I know it is a good thing.

So what did I think of the gym?? I liked it. It is nice and seems clean. The instructor was super nice and helpful. Some of the women looked at me a little goofy when I walked in, but nothing I couldn't handle. I think it was mostly because I was going to hold up the class for like 2 minutes and that pissed them off. SORRY ladies, but I didn't know what the hell I was doing and what equipment I would need. Oh I shouldn't say it was just ladies, there were some men in there as well. But back to the gym itself, it was nice and offered things I haven't experienced before.  The lockers all come with a lock and you set the password to it so there is no need to bring your own lock. There is lotion, soap, and deodorant available for people like me who forget to bring it (I think they look down on stinky people!!LOL). Today I am hoping to try out their treadmills (since we are having a winter storm outside BOO!!) and some of their other machines. I only have 3 days of a free trial so I want to try a little of everything. Jed was trying to tell me to take a rest day today since I was so sore, but ain't nobody got time for that.

But I seriously don't have time for that because I only have 3 days to see if I really like this particular gym.

Oh on a different but similar note, people are always saying they hate going to gym because they think people are staring at them. Well let me tell you this, THEY DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ARE DOING! Get over it. Everyone there is there for one reason, to get their butt in shape or to keep their butt in shape. Yeah I know it can be intimidating, but it really shouldn't be. I know there are good looking people there and skinny people there, but most of them weren't always skinny. And to be completely honest, DO YOU REALLY CARE WHAT THEY THINK OF YOU?? Wouldn't you rather be one of the fat people turned skinny than care about what some skinny bitch thinks of you.  Honestly, I don't care what ANYONE at the gym thinks of me.  You know what I care about?? I care that my husband can tell that I am losing weight! I care that my pants are getting bigger. I care about my health improving!! So for all you judging skinnies out there, I don't CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF ME!!

Now that I have that out of my system I can say that I am looking forward to going to the gym this afternoon. I like trying new things and I like the fact that I don't care what people think of me at the gym. In fact I use those wondering eyes to my advantage.  I don't want to look completely wimpy so it pushing me to give it my all.  Like yesterday, I didn't want to look like a wimp in front of all the ladies and gents in the class so I made sure I did all my reps even when I felt like giving up. Rep, who would have thought I would use that word!! LOL Have I mentioned lately that I love my life? Well I do.  I know I was having a crummy day last week, but I just got to thinking that I really love the fact that I am getting out there and doing the things that I have always wanted to do.  I ran a 5K, I am still doing P90X, trying new gyms, taking new classes.  Man who am I?? So even if I am tired today; I feel pretty freaking good about myself. Another benefit to working out - Confidence. I was really lacking in confidence 6 months ago, so to see myself getting more and more confident is nice.

Here is a pic of what I bring with me every morning. 

That doesn't even include my purse.  In the Wal-mart bag is my lunch, classy I know!!
This was my breakfast this morning:

Well that is all I got for ya today folks. Oh by the way, thanks for all the b-day gift ideas. I have a few ideas of what I want to get my nephew now. THANKS!!

Monday Funday

It is Monday Bitches!! Okay, that isn't as exciting as Friday, but still.  I got some good sleep last night and I feel pretty darn good today. I wrote about half a page of how shitty I have been eating the last few weeks, but it was depressing and I deleted. I don't want to be depressed today.  So i am going to keep this short. I have been eating like crap the last few weeks and it stops today. I am over it.I know you have heard that from me before and that is fine. As long as you keep hearing/reading me say that.  The day you hear/read me say that I am done with eating healthy then you should be concerned.  I don't want to give up!! My excercising is still going really well and I still enjoy it. So I know the healthy eating part will come in time. I am not too concerned about it. so there it is.  I am done talk about that for now.

Did y'all have a good weekend?  I did. Nothing too exciting, but I played softball on Friday and we won both of our games!! Saturday I took R to a birthday party and he got to play his first arcade game.  That kid is growing up too fast.

I cleaned out our area for the garden.  This will be my first garden EVER! Wish me luck folks. I have never planted a flower/plant before so this should be an interesting project. And on Sunday I went back to my home town and spent some time with my grandma and my parents. It is always good to go home. I love being close enough to them that I can go see them for the day. R had a good time with them, he got to go to the park and the lake (pond) with my parents. He had such a good time that he didn't take a nap. That is the first time he has ever gone a whole day without a nap. He slept pretty darn good last night.

So I decided that I am going to try out a new gym this week.  They give you a 3 day trial. So I will go give it a try and see what I think. I also have a friend that is running a half marathon this weekend and I am going to cheer her on this weekend. I am excited about going to the race.  I haven't gone to one to cheer for someone since my dad ran when I was younger.  Plus I am hoping this will motivate me to run further distances. 13.1 miles seems crazy though.  Good Luck Darcy!!

This weekend we will celebrate my nephew's first birthday.  I have been trying to think of the best gift to give to a one year old and I am coming up empty.  What would you buy? I always give books so I am sure I will give him some books. But I also like to give fun toys as well so I would like to do both. Oh well, I am sure I will come up with something.  My husband thinks I should give him a 3 wheeler, but that has been his answer for all gifts lately. sigh, men. I am open to any fun/interesting ideas!!

Have a good weeks folks and let's pray that we get some rain, we NEED it.

Random Friday

I'm going to start this post with letting you y'all know a little secret.  I write a BUNCH of crap and then delete it. Like right now, I just deleted 2 sentences. Blogging isn't the easiest thing to do. It isn't hard by any means, I just don't want to say/write the wrong thing and offend people. I try to be funny and say things in a NICE way, but I think I am coming off as LAME. So from here on out, if I use a cuss word in my head, I am just going to write it down. If I really offend you please let me know and I can tone it down a little, but for crying out loud this is my blog darn it (DAMN it). Okay, so I will probably still use darn and freaking, just because I like those words. Sorry, I am weird like that. Y'all are asking, "why on earth is she saying all this?" Well because this is how I wanted to start my blog this morning

It is Friday Bitches!!! Whewwwww, I feel better now. Also picture me doing this:

 I love Elaine's dance.  It cracks me up!!

Any ways, now that I got THAT out of my system. I TOTALLY FORGOT TO WEIGH IN THIS WEEK!! BOO!!! I was tired and just hopped into the shower and didn't think twice about until I was on my way to work. Sorry folks!

You are also not going to believe this, but I got up at 4:30 on Thursday and I went to a cycle/spin class.

Yep, that is what my alarm looked like and then I saw this:

at freaking 5:00 AM!!! Ugggg, it was difficult, but I did it!! And I felt good all day. I knew my workout was done and I could enjoy the rest of the day without reminding myself a million times that I needed to work out that day. BOO YA!!! That is a win for me!! Yeah I go to the YMCA right now, but I can't decide if I want to continue to go there or change gyms.  A lot of my friends go to other gyms which is why I am so conflicted!! Yeah, I have real problems people, I mean which gym should I go to (read using Cher's voice from clueless).

But seriously getting up at the butt crack of dawn is hard for me!! It wasn't easy, but it was nice to know that my work out was done and I could truly enjoy my evening. So I might have to become one of those early birds. I will also add that I was stinking exhausted all day.  It could have been the fact that I didn't go to bed until 11:00-11:30 the night before (DUMB!!!). Yeah, I wouldn't recommend that. Also let me add, spin/cycle class is not for wimps!! HOLY MOLY!!  That is an intense class. This is what I figured I would look like during Spin:

But in reality I looked like this:

Seriously people.  It was hard. Today I am sore in strange places, I didn't think it was even possible to be sore BEHIND my knees. Seriously that is odd.  Oh well, I guess it is a good thing. Because you know how I have been complaining about my fat behind my knees, LOL. No seriously it is a good thing, I am using muscles that I haven't really used before.

Tonight I have softball and I think I am going to do some running before hand.  I have a warrior dash to train for so I really need to make sure I am in good shape for that sucker.  I don't want the people I run with to feel sorry for me and have to push my fat butt over a wall!! I have had that done once, but instead of a wall it was the Grand Canyon.  No Joke. When I was preggo with R, Jed and I had the fabulous idea of going to the Grand Canyon and we walked down into the canyon and on the way back up I lost steam.  It was getting cold and Jed literally had to push my fat preggo butt out of a canyon. Yep, he is my knight in shining armor!! Hey, no one else would have done that for me and there is no one else that I would rather be back there!! Good times! Have a good weekend folks!!

One of my favorite red heads!!

 

 

 

Tuesday dulldrums

So yesterday wasn't the best day ever.  I mean it wasn't the worst day either, but I felt all grumpy ALL day long. So being the over analyzer that I am, I tried to figure out why I felt the way I did.  I mean come on, I have an adorable 2 year old, a handsome and sweet husband (not always, but as of this moment in my life, yes he is being sweet), I have a house that I love to come home to (even if it isn't the cleanest place on earth), and parents that love me. So what the hell do I have to complain about?? I kept coming up empty. So this mood lasted until I went to put on my work out clothes and found out that my 2 work out buddies are not going to work out.  One went to bed and the other one wanted to get some stuff done out in the barn. So there I am in my work out clothes trying to decide on whether or not I am going to work out on my own and then it hits me! I know why I am grumpy!! I know that my days of doing P90X with my hubby and workout buddy are pretty much done. Why?? The weather is getting nice and they would rather be outside doing things than inside with a grumpy lady who constantly curses while doing P90X. Why is this an issue? Well they make P90X fun. They joke around with me and do goofy things while we get our sweat on. So this makes me sad and also a little worried. How am I going to finish P90X without them?? So I decided to talk it out with Jed last night (lucky him)and we talked about a lot of things. It helped. I also realized that I CAN DO ANYTHING I set my mind to. So if I want to finish P90X I can do it! Or if I tweak my goal a little, then that is fine too! So what am I going to do?  Well, I am not 100% on this, but I'm going to finish P90X, but it may take me a little longer than I thought. I am going to do it at MY pace.  But I am also going to start going to gym and focus on my running and lifting weights. I haven't picked a gym yet, but I am really thinking that I am going to start going in the morning around 5:00. Any one want to join me??? I have some 5Ks coming up and I want to be better prepared for them. I also have a Warrior Dash and I need to up my cardio for that as well. The other thing I would love is to use this time as social time as well as workout time. Why?? Well I work with 2 other guys and then I go home to 3 guys (son, husband, and roommate). I MISS HANGING OUT WITH WOMEN!!! Before I got this job, I always worked with other women so I could chit chat about whatever it is us women talk about whether it be about our periods, husbands, children, etc.  Men don't like talking about that crap. I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS CRAP! I can't keep having the same conversation about RZRs, vehicles, and construction projects (work conversations). I miss having a woman co-worker is what I am getting at here. So anyways, Jed really helped me work through a lot of this last night and I know he isn't thrilled with the idea of me going to the gym in the morning, but he understands why I want to do it. So my question for y'all.  What gym do you go to and would any of you be available to work out at 5:00 a.m. in the morning?? Come on, there has to be SOMEONE!!

So with all this said, I woke up this morning and I felt a lot better.  I brought my workout clothes with me today and I plan on going for a run at 4:00 today.  Although I forgot my tape (for my shins) so I am little nervous about that, but I think I can tough it out for one run (keep your fingers crossed). But my mood is much better today. What do you guys do to stay motivated?? How do you handle change? I obviously don't handle change very well, but I am trying to do better about that.

I have zero fun pictures for you guys too. So I thought I would give ya some oldies but goodies, enjoy:

At a wedding reception (2009??)

At our wedding.  Yep I am wearing a hoodie.  That is why I love this picture.  It tells you a lot about who I am :)

 

At a bar in Manhattan during a K-State game. I love Basketball and Football season! (2009)

 

On the River with my cousin and my other cousin's boyfriend (who is now her husband). That was a GREAT float trip. (2009)

This is one of my FAVORITE pics of all time. Those two are such goofballs. This picture makes my soul smile. (2010)

 

I miss how little and cuddly he was. Look at that smile (2011)

R's 2nd birthday (2012)

We are at the Sand dunes. (2012)